MY THOUGHTS AND IDEAS...

Today is the 31st of December 2014 and this year is about to end.For me personally,it was one of those years which you want to cherish.I graduated form college on one hand and managed to find some ways to earn money on the other.Moreover,with a peaceful mind and a healthy approach,I feel I'm a better person than I was an year ago. I started this year on a positive note,with my studies going in a satisfactory direction and my life totally stable.I consolidated this situation with my devotion towards studies and a resolve not to indulge in any activity harmful to myself.The last semester of the college was always going to be a memorable one,and it was.I remember the good days we used to have in the college.We used to spent a lot of time in the winter sun,sometimes having tea in the canteen and sometimes discussing our lives,careers and politics.In the class too,the syllabus was not that difficult and being the last semester,we all were used to handling studies quite well.It was

The year is about to end,almost 6 months have passed since I left college and now I feel there is a certain nervousnes regarding the exams coming soon.I have been studying continuously but for the past few weeks I feel I have not been up to the mark.I sometimes doubt my capabilities and yes some if not most part of my sylllabus definitely goes over my head.I have been watching it over time and feel frustrated when I'm not able to understand the thing I'm trying to. Weekends especially sunday is off for me.I don't study much on sundays.Most of the sundays are spent watching TV at home or with friends at some public place.I feel it is much needed as we get to meet each other,share our feelings and have a lot of talk on other issues.I will be disappointed if i don't manage to clear the exams and thus I'm trying my best to succeed.At the moment the top focus of my life is getting to a graduate program at any of the top institutes and further my st

I have been sitting home for the past few months and I feel there has been a lot of change in my day to day life.I was not used to this kind of lifestyle and it has really been an interesting experience trying to get into this new kind of routine.These days I get up in the morning,then start my day with some study and then try to study for as many hours as I can. I think I should write up my day to day activity which will serve as a reminder in the future.I am having a lot of happy days nowadays.So starting it up,as I already mentioned,I get up early in the morning and start studying.Before that I do some sort of exercise,for a few minutes to get warmed up and fire up the muscles.It is necessary as otherwise I'll feel sleepy for a few more hours into the day!Tea is a staple for me and I usually sip up to 7 cups a day.So its not unusual for me to start my day with a cup of tea.After tea and exercise,I used to go through the newspapers but I have stopped it now,I was bored of them.A

For the past few months,as I graduated from college,I have been busy providing home tuitions to students.Although I have limited myself to just 2,it still consumes a lot of my time.Nobody has forced me into this,and of course if I have to succeed in this life and beyond I have to learn to work hard. College was a different ball game altogether.We had pressure but we had equally funny ways to overcome it!We'd come up with ideas ranging from ridiculous to stupid,and it used to be all fun even amidst pressure.Here in real life,things are different.Nobody comes with any ideas here,we have to figure everything out ourselves.Working for 5 continuous hours and returning home on a chilly evening,all tired but nobody there to hear your problems!Yes it is the real life,and it gets tough with time.I have to get used to it,for the long run. I have to study in the meantime as well and it is supposed to be my top priority.I have just entered the part where we have to maintain a perfect work

I have a habit of taking a lot of things too lightly,sometimes things go off the limits but most of the time I enjoy doing so.I am not someone who picks up a fight over petty issues,neither I am someone who cries because somebody broke his things.I admit in the childhood I could have behaved like that but not now,I am matured enough. People have a lot of complaints about that.I am too casual in my approach,allegedly so and often make fun of a lot of things.But this is the way I am and it is not going to change.On any normal day,I have a 1000 things running in my mind and like everybody else I get confused the moment I wake up in the morning and start thinking.There are a lot of things to do,a lot of plans to execute and a lot of exciting ideas to work on,but above all there is a lot of confusion.This kind of a feeling sometimes takes up too much of my precious morning time and I end up sitting for an hour doing nothing! For the past few days,I have develope

So after quite some time,I'm back here writing once again!There has been a gap of about a month or so,and yes I felt like I was quite busy these days.The festivals have almost passed.We had a good Diwali week,it was fun.These days,I have been busy preparing for my entrance exams and sometimes though,I lose track. A few days back,I set up a schedule and I have been almost following it till today,but there is a certain lack of concentration occasionally.I tend to lose my concentration quite often and it is not a helpful sign for me.I have been studying slowly but steadily and will be able to complete my syllabus in time.Now I have confidence and clearing the exams seems a good possibility but still there is some element of self doubt.I think it is necessary to keep our over confidence in check.I have been sitting at home for the past two months and now I am looking forward to getting out.In august,I had an opportunity to visit Varanasi for a week and I enjoyed

These days,I've been working more than I usually do,so there have not been a lot of moments when I felt bored.I've been progressing with my studies as expected but there is some amount of doubt in the mind regarding my preparations.I don't test myself often so it is unclear whether I've prepared enough or not. Time has been passing smoothly,the only thing is that the more I try to control it,the faster it appears to fly.For the past 4 months or so,i've been at home,studying but there has not been a single day when I could say well,I've got nothing to do today.Some day or the other comes across when I sit down for hours just thiking and planning and not doing some 'substantial' work,but all this is a part of life.Now as I've not more than 3 months to prepare for the exams,I feel there is still a lot of work to do and I might lag behind.I have joined a research project and for the past month,I have been working towards it as well,althoug

It has been a month since I wrote something in here.Time has been flowing as usual and to further utilize it,we decided to join some research laboratory to get some first hand experience of this thing.Now these days we are busy visiting the lab on a daily basis traveling from the south to the north and then staying there entire day.In short the time I used to waste at home and study sometimes is being consumed at the laboratory but still,I have enough time at hand to further my studies. On the preparation front,I have been a little less than satisfactory but still I have almost completed the task I assigned to myself at the start of the month.I have almost finished three papers and have sufficient confidence in the questions I do.The only thing is that I have to give up on a lot of things now.First of all,s I get up in the morning I have to prepare myself for the 15-16 hours of the day as there is no free time in between to waste.First I have to look up to my studies and then study so

Joining the defence forces has been one of my passions ever since childhood,after school though,it did not seem to be a good idea to join the defence academy straightway,but after graduating and spending three cheerful years in college,as I got an opportunity to join the forces,I applied for the CDS exams in February this year.It was an easy exam from my standards and I was pretty sure to qualify and move on to the next level.I did,and was called for the interview at AFSB-Varanasi in August. I was thrilled to meet air force officers and talk to them and being tested by them seemed to be an opportunity too exciting to describe.I always have been excited by the sight of men in uniform and wish to become one myself as well! So with the call for AFSB confirmed I began preparing for it.Since it was my debut,I relied on some helpful websites which provided the necessary information about the procedure there,and the things to carry with myself etc.I had two weeks or so,before I had to

Time flies the moment we start to realize its value,isn't it?Well,ever since I started preparing for the entrance exams,I was in the time management mode.I made daily schedules and looked to it that I stick to the same.Now,as I see,I have to study at least 6 hours a day on a daily basis and it doesn't appear to be a big deal.6 hours out of 24 is 25%,so nothing big about it! But,when it comes to following it I find that somehow it is not being followed.Someday,I feel like I opened the books for 10 hours and yet could manage to study only 3!Sadly,this means I lack in fulfilling the target and is therefore a matter of serious concern.I take a few tuitions as well,to avoid isolation and make some money while continuing my studies.Although,it is not much of a stress but even then I have to put at east 3 hours a day for that as well. Time management is the key.I do have a plan,I manage to execute it but not as efficiently as I'd like it to be.So there is some kind of negativity

After undergoing a tiresome brain consuming 5 day interview at Air Force Selection Board(AFSB) Varanasi,I'm finally back to Delhi and really it was a once in a lifetime experience.I'll describe the entire experience but on a separate post.This is about the self reflection and contemplation immediately following the interview procedure.As a debutant,I was excited that I'll meet so many new people,get to discuss a lot of ideas and I was not disappointed in this regard. We all put ourselves on top whenever we are making decisions.That is perfectly logical as the decisions we make,has the most immediate bearing on ourselves.So we have to think about ourselves before anyone else.I get confused for a little bit while making these kind of decisions.First of all,by denial of a permanent self,we imply that whatever we do is ultimately a process in between a infinite chain of events so in a way it is all interconnected and hence the self has a little or no control in deciding the ou

Often at times, unexpected things happen threatening to destroy our inner calm and we are left helpless.It is not that I'm learned enough to handle such things and thus sometimes feel lonely.These days have been busy for me and I wish I could control the flow of time.Not possible though. Only last week,I visited my college and after spending few hours there,we met our juniors and recalled our good old days,which is not a long time ago!Only 3 months back,we were daily visitors there.Anyways,we all have good memories of our college days and now I feel why so.Sometimes,I feel I should let the things do the work themselves and not meddle in because even though I try to change things a lot,I can't.So why bother!Only a few years back I was planning this and that,and then when the time comes,I can't help but go with the flow. It is like this all the time.I will not waste my time building castles in the air,because it is not worth the time.At the same moment,I have to be imaginati

I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.There is no other option.Sometimes I have to yell these words to me so that I don't lose track.Well,as I planned to drop an year and prepare for the examinations in the subsequent year,I expected there will be some low points.There will be moments when I lose motivation and question my decision altogether! This kind of feeling has its roots in self doubt.But if self doubt is the negative thing,the positive analogue of it should be self belief.I have belief in myself,but sometimes distracted by others' opinions,some amount of doubt settles in.Then I start thinking 'realistically' which translates to reduction of extra amount of self confidence or I should say extra confidence!The notification,for the exams I'm preparing is out,6 months in advance and there is no better time than right at this moment to visualise the goal.I have to clear the exam,there is no other alternative.I personally killed all other alternatives to concentr

It's been a long time since I wrote about myself.But sadly these days everything seems monotonous.Just the usual getting up,sitting at home and studying!I've not met a lot of people for the past few days and certainly after the completion of my college studies,life has come to an unusual halt,of some kind.I've been studying although the efficiency is to be improved,but the only thing bothering me is the monotony. I can't withstand monotony for a long time.I'm a big supporter of change and expect almost everything at least within my control to change periodically!I change my daily routine from time to time and even look for changes in my study schedule so that I don't get bored.Now,as a lot of time has passed since I went out of the city,I feel now is a good time to head out for at least a couple of days.And I hope next weekend will provide me the chance to head out and probably get some change in the day to day life.Now,I understand the importance going to coll

In my day to day life there are instances when I misinterpret what people around think about me.One of them was that,people around me had a distinct paranoia which resulted in myself being uncomfortable around them.I don't think anyone hates me,not anymore so I'm like more comfortable. Now,as we progress we often come across things which might be unpleasing and we respond accordingly.I've been practising a certain kind of restraint while dealing with such circumstances.I mean,I label almost every phenomena that occurs to me.So if something is pleasurable,there is a pleasure label attached and if it is not so,there is a label for it as well.It helps me,among a lot other things,in not responding in a way which might be embarrassing if looked back upon.This kind of contemplation in day to day life has a lot of benefits for me.I've started to feel them now. If someone praises me,it is natural to be elated and get lost in fantasies and all that.But with contemplation,we

While we are growing up,we often tend to imitate others either willingly or otherwise.Sometimes it helps us in a way that we often get out of bewilderment and tend to take up a generally accepted easy path.While I was a teenager there was a feeling of becoming inside of me as well.I too wanted to become like someone I admired.But as time passed by and as it happens with everyone,I realised it too was a childish desire to become like someone.We are here for ourselves. So being and becoming two different yet connected deeply with our personality come into play.Becoming is something we did in childhood and some of us still do childishly and being our selves is the one thing we do each day.This is not childish.How can it be?we have developed enough to look for our place in the society.We can handle the situations well,we can communicate properly.We don't hesitate anymore.We don't have to worry whenever we are out of the home for a night!What do these signify?

Developing a viewpoint towards life is one of the key things we do in our lives.All of us whether rich or poor,whether powerful or powerless,whether famous or not have some sort of a point of view towards life.It is through this very point of view that we attach ourselves and then look at the world and probably try to describe it in best of terms.There comes a time when people do not agree with us.They have a difference which might seem fundamental in nature. I've had a lot of moments like these and I think the way I deal with it is usable for me.I do not clash with others' ideologies for it being futile as well a time consuming.There are bound to be differences between people.We have to appreciate it though.There has never been a moment when I forgot that.And I feel there is no need enforcing ourselves onto others as well.We have to be tolerant. My life although seemingly is at a standstill as I feel a void with no regular going to college.There a

Almost one year has passed since I started the basic technique of mind control leading to the end of my problems,forever!First of all,I am by my very nature suited to this kind of philosophy.I am almost always full of humor,a source of positive energy and then the impermanence of things and events has been taught to me ever since I was a child. I've thus,found these two things to focus on and strengthen in order to succeed: A.Never lose the positive attitude. B.Always focus on the impermanence. These two tools have been most helpful as far as my progress on the spiritual path is concerned and well they are flawless!Although the Buddhist path requires me to fulfill other things as well .One of them is compassion for every living being.This too has been my nature.I don't harm any being intentionally.Although there are a few persons in front of whom,my compassion vanishes.I don't know but some of their actions have a distressing effect on me.I am more or less neutral as far a

Actually,even when I take things lightly there are moments when I feel weakened owing to the circumstances.Then it is left up to the inspiration inside me,which I boost from time to time with a lot of study to pick me up. Now I have a habit to criticize almost everything,I don't like.I fail to understand what is wrong in that?Well,it is simple.I did not like it,fine.Someone or everyone may like it,I don't.There are movies which almost everyone has rejected and I pick it up.There are songs termed worst by everyone and yet I enjoy them.It is up to someone to decide what he likes and what he does not.But the thing is that the acts of other persons have started influencing my inner calm and this is a sign of worry.I never allow anyone to have an influence on me,other than those personally filtered by me.I am a self built person and nobody can inspire me until I allow him/her. These few days have been busy and I have not had an hour to think and sit down silently!But still I have m

I'm about to sit at home for probably a year and thus I need some tentative schedule so as to prepare myself for some difficult times ahead.Here it is as I may want it to be: First of all there will be no college at all,so I need some alternative,I think of taking up some home tuitions and it'll solve my money problems as well. I think I can get enough for this year and I can fulfill some incomplete tasks. So there should be enough business to fill up the time I used to spend in college.Besides college is a daily hangout zone,I need some thing here as well.I'm planning some outstation tours so that I don't get bored sitting here. And then the basic thing for which I plan to drop this year-completion of my study in physics. I seriously hope I can sit down and prepare all my notes and clear the IIT_JAM exam in order to get into msc. Besides I plan to sit in at least 20-25 examinations this year as it'll be a good time to keep the sun