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JUST MOVING ON-50

Almost one year has passed since I started the basic technique of mind control leading to the end of my problems,forever!First of all,I am by my very nature suited to this kind of philosophy.I am almost always full of humor,a source of positive energy and then the impermanence of things and events has been taught to me ever since I was a child.
I've thus,found these two things to focus on and strengthen in order to succeed:

A.Never lose the positive attitude.

B.Always focus on the impermanence.

These two tools have been most helpful as far as my progress on the spiritual path is concerned and well they are flawless!Although the Buddhist path requires me to fulfill other things as well .One of them is compassion for every living being.This too has been my nature.I don't harm any being intentionally.Although there are a few persons in front of whom,my compassion vanishes.I don't know but some of their actions have a distressing effect on me.I am more or less neutral as far as others' actions are concerned but still there are a few persons as exceptions.It is not that I hate anyone,it's far from that!It's just that I get intimidated and then some words,which should not come to the mind often come out of the mouth and I feel guilty later.I need some control when dealing with this.

One year is no big deal,but still the progress I made,is remarkabe from my point of view.A few days back I got compliments from some people very close to me,and they were soothing.A year back,I could not expect that someone will be impressed by my behaviour.I was a rash,wild guy who was into thinking that everyone around him was full of hatred.Really,I was living in negativity.I felt like being captivated by it and as soon as I broke free,I could realize what was being missed.Now I don't have any desires as such to gain respet or praise from people,I'm a self assured person!So obviously the motive is something higher,which is perfection of character.I aim to be a good person so that I don't have any repent regarding the past.I've had enough of it and really it is painful and I don't seek that pain anymore just for the sake of momentary pleasures.

I started the study of mind as a hobby a few years ago,then I was into a little bit of philosophy but nothing significant as far as my character was concerned.I was still the same,like anyone else.Then buddhism got me,and I felt like I finally got what was missing from my life.Nowadays,I read buddhism texts collected over time from the internet.My opinion and way of life has become that of a novice buddhist.I too try to stay mindful,don't meddle with others' affairs,practice loving kindness in abundance and at times meditate.
I got the noble eightfold path and have been following it,more or less.I'll perfect it in time.Religion is needed in life and now I see why.I've never been religious,and often paid the price for it.Being a rational person by nature,these religious prctices never fascinated me and as a result I went far off from my religion.But by discarding foolish looking practices,I also discarded the basic philospohy towards life.And now after a few years,as I look back I think it was painful.Having no ideal,no one to look up to!Then I found buddhism and with the help of it I have cme to the right track.

I don't consider myself a failure anymore.The lack of self esteem has been replaced by a sense of self confidence.Sometimes though on account of my nature,I do get confused..which is kept in check so that I don't deviate from the path I'm following.

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