MY THOUGHTS AND IDEAS...

The year 2013 is about to end and everyone is busy discussing what they did this year and what they did not.New plans are being made,new year proposals as well as a lot of wishing.On the TV too t he news guys too are busy reviewing the entire year and there is a kind of typical new year atmosphere. I am also considering looking back at this year but this year I don't plan it by doing the usual what went right,what went wrong kind of analysis.This is too boring at least for me.I mean I won't be remembering events happened in the course of this year,rather I'd be throwing them off of the head if they come by.It is useless kind of thing.Looking at the past and discussing is just a waste of time,I feel.As it means, no analysis of the year passing right now for me.The good things,the bad things they have been done and will result accordingly. No wasting my time over it. So then it leaves me with nothing but the present to look at.And at present I feel a little down.No

I feel like writing about myself after a long time.By the way through penning down ideas about my personal self here I get a lot of benefits as I don't have to go about troubling someone with my life story.Well,ever since I got into this whole mindfulness practice,I have honestly followed it while sometimes getting off the road although through ignorance itself. As far as I have read,I think it is not sufficient to be confined only to books in order to enjoy the present moment.I have some memories of the past which pull me down and as everyone else I wish there was a 'men in black' sort of flash which could erase everything but hey it's real life and things don't get done that way here.We have to face the consequences.I have been harsh on myself till date an now I realize this approach of mine towards myself is not working at all.In fact all the negative thought I had in my mind seems now to be centered on me as I don't have anyone to hate!So it requires immedi

The breaks definitely have a lot of positives for me as I can get an insight of the path I’ve been following over a certain period.This year as I’ve been traversing a different path with my new revamped point of view towards life,it’s been even more helpful to have a break at the moment.Well I’ve never been a person who hesitates from finding fault in himself so it is not a big deal analysing the errors I committed in recent times.Some have been ignorable while some have brought with themselves a lot of shame as well as a lesson and induced resolve to never ever repeat them in future.I’ll not go in details about the errors I committed as I think the best way and timing to look at them is the moment they were committed.This way we can even correct ourselves more accurately. Even though I’ve not a lot of things to do at my home,I don’t think I get bored.I’ve collected a few items to read in spare times and I don’t think there has been a moment when I thought what to do next.But the fac

There is no reason why we should not be cheerful in day to day life.Bearing a cheerful face is the first and most significant impact which we have on any individual.It signifies a lot of things.Confidence and good health are two of them.We often have interaction with a lot of people ordinarily and most of them we don't know.So I feel pity about those people who put up a sad looking face just to gain some emotional support!Anyways people have different ways of handling life and I'm no one to interfere. Now what I have been focusing these days on,is self control.I don't know how to describe it in words but by application of it I mean a lot of things which don't even come close to things like self control.It goes well beyond it.In short I'm a bit wayward and for the first time in my life I feel totally lacking in understanding of myself.On the one hand I feel like some very normal guy with a very easy going life and then suddenly I find out it is not that s

A lot of time my behaviour becomes impulsive.There is a sudden impulse and here it goes.It is not that bad a thing unless you have control over the circumstances.I don't,so sometimes it takes a toll on me.I feel like I'm wasting a lot of time over nothing.I usually don't have a lot of things to do at my home apart from studying and watching TV when I'm bored so it hurts more.I sometimes feel like I'm really not doing anything productive and that if it goes like this I'll fail. I don't know but I am about to complete my graduate studies here and the way forward does not seem very clear.I've thought a lot over it and even today I've been thinking over it and yet no conclusions.One thing is that I have to go along what my heart feels like good but then the fear of failure!I guess you gotta get over it.All of us try and fail its no big deal.But we should have the courage to pick ourselves up after failure in order to succeed.I miss a lot of out

Irrespective of the circumstances does it seem acceptable that the thought of a particular woman destabilizes an otherwise sane man?I won't accept it but sadly the person in mention here is me itself.The thought of this woman has haunted me for the past few months and I've not b een to get over it.A lot of times my mood just gets upset or some of my important work gets ruined and I feel helpless over it.Right now I was thinking about her and now I feel like I should not be doing this.How to get over it?Well,as far as my limited knowledge is concerned,lust is powerful and even the mightiest of men can be grasped by it.How to overcome this power of lust and get a peaceful and proper life is something I am working on but till date I've tasted only failure. Yeah a lot of people say what's in a woman!I too think so but the thought of the woman stirs up emotions which eventually get out of the hand and I end up doing something totally unexpected.The mind suddenly g

Being in the village certainly brings about with itself, a lot of goodies for me.I after some planning decided to spend my mid semester break,in my village.It had been quite some time since I spent a week in my village and hence a visit seemed almost necessary.Well there was not much time for a reserved seat and hence I was forced to spend my time sitting 16 hours in the train.It was not much of a difficulty and I reached Patna at midnight after starting from home in the morning.Well to my surprise I found the station clean and hygenic,something I did not expect,not in Patna at least!Well I then boarded a bus in the morning and the trip was more enjoyable than I had expected as the roads have become extremely comfortable nowadays in Bihar and I was home at around 10.People in the village are extremely nice and the contrast seems completely when you just arrive form a city like Delhi. Well it is festive season here and Durga Puja is everywhere in the environment.People are extre

Willingly or unwillingly each and every one of us is bound by some religion or the other,and we are supposed to follow some rituals even if we denounce everything pertaining to them.Well I don't want to go into the analysis of why do we do such things or what should we do rather I'd like to express my astonishment over the friction which often takes place between one's personal religion and society. Well I'm not a student of philosophies so to expect a great amount of theoretical knowledge from me is unusual for sure.I base my ideas on the daily experiences in the life and how do I do it?Well I minutely observe a lot of things usually ignored by other fellows. Well the topic I picked on here is something which is related to everyone personally and yet no one talks about it.In fact religion is considered too pure to be debated openly in this part of the world.I'm fed up with this I know everything-you know nothing kind of practice.We all have personal Gods

Today I feel like I should pen down what I've been feeling over the past few days.I don't talk much personally with people as I don't feel it appropriate to present your entangled life in present of others.Well talking of problems,i don't seem to have any but the underlying thing is that I've been thinking a lot over these days and I don't seem to be heading towards any direction.My life in particular is very calm indeed but I'm not sure how calm it'll be in the coming times say next year.Next year as i graduate from here there arises the biggest question in probably my entire life and it is-what next?And as any sane individual I've been finding answers to this very problem and the thing I feel lacking is proper guidance and motivation.i mean its not like I'm depressed and all that but probably a little bit of motivation is needed.I have selected a few ways for me to head to next year but since I lack anyone to guide me,the feeling of being

Before I begin I want to confess that I don't have an expertise on philosophical concepts and ideas.Most of the things I say have no relevance or relation with respect to the existing ideas at the present.I may sound stupid and this is the reason I don't make my ideas public until I'm fully convinced.It's more like a kitchen kind of thing.You don't take your cooked meal out until you are convinced about the taste whatever be the ingredients! So now let's begin with what I intend to put here.I won't go round and round as I think matters are more clear in concise form.Whatever we do has a definite cause and will have a definite result,this is what we are taught from the very beginning but as we grow old and educated and things become much clear ,we start questioning this kind of thought.Some of us have a strong belief in religion and most of the time the answers are clear from a religious point of view as we introduce God everywhere we find things hard to ex

Beauty is something not to run away from and I realized this today.Until today ever since I've tried mind control I've restrained myself and strictly followed some rules in order to prevent distraction,caused by some very seemingly pleasant things.But since I put a lot of emphasis on mindfulness,it has become clear to me that its no use running away from beauty.So what did I find today after which i'm writing this.Well,i've been a huge fan of nature and its creations and although I appreciate nature's creation in the form of human,I was skeptical of humans until a few days back.But now since I've been meditating on metta or loving kindness,I've reduced a lot of aversion both normally and otherwise and believe me it feels a burden is off!All right now getting into a little detail,well this kind of load shedding is not such a bad thing and the good thing is that i've started this way of thinking at a proper time as I realize now and the tra

These days I'm having a lot of free time and I'm enjoying the way my life is going on.No complaints,no regrets,no expectation just going with the flow well this is freedom and only someone who thinks my way can understand what I'm talking about.I care for nothing.I'm here spending my life,in the middle of a process,never ending and unexplainable at least for me at this moment.So what stays?Nothing.This is the renunciation I heard of probably but I've just started and have a long way to go.Whether I succeed or not who cares. Now the thing is I have to keep a constant watch on myself so that I don't deviate.By this I don't imply i'm bound by some strange dogma or stuff like that it's just simple rules(too light) that i've created for myself in order to survive in this society(and don't seem crazy!!).Because the way I think its just moments before people declare me a lunatic.So I needed something like morals to follow and hence I foun

I'm really alone these days.There does not seem anyone to support me but the good thing is that i don't feel the need for approval.I disagree with a lot of people and sometimes things get real bad and I am almost on the verge of losing myself over it.Today too in the morning I started something I should not have and had some consequence which is unfavourable.Actually I talked too much and sometimes you have the 'foot in your mouth' moment and it happened to me..well,almost.I started boasting about something and things got into a realm of personal ego clash,which i do usually abstain from. I feel whenever we have communication,its our character more than the words which has the value.I have not spent enough time creating my character and now I'm paying off.Well even though I did not pay attention to these things earlier,I do now and will continue to do until I fix my character.So I'm myself in a lot of doubt over my character let alone others.The thing is that

Sometimes I feel clueless.I don't know where I'm going and i'm  not sure about my ways eventually leading to a lot of confusion.But then is that it?Where does it all lead to?I don't know I'm confused these days and the only way forward seems to be the one prescribed by religion. Being a non believer is essential but the everything has its price.By choosing to be a non believer,I've started doubting everything.Now I don't believe some essential things which seems familiar for someone on a spiritual path.This is the only solace I get these days.Not believing in religion,denying the existence of a controller and a lot of atheism has taken me into a realm from where I can't possibly return but then I don't want to!Of course I don't find like minded people which I expected earlier and therefore there is a hint of loneliness as well in my life.I'd be as honest as possible as this is the place where I put down whatever is inside me. What I see amon

Does luck exist?And even if it does can our rational mind let it to be the reason behind our success and failure?Last night we had a little discussion about luck.I am of the view that luck doesn't exist at all and all results depend on our actions and actions alone.In short luck is nothing but  a little mental fabrication.The opposite view was that even if we assume karma to be the reason behind success and failure,there is still an element of doubt when thinking of results and that doubt is eliminated by introducing the variable of luck. Our way of thinking,beliefs and our general behavior is heavily influenced in the type of environment we live in.By environment I mean religious environment.It is pretty natural for a common human to believe what his ancestors believed because even today with all the advancement in civilization,instruction is considered the best way to impart knowledge from generation to generation and until we come up with something better we have to bear it.A

We live in a world which demands action at every bit.Right from the time we get up in the morning there is a list full of 'to do' activities and we are of course expected to fulfil those in order to 'live'.But activity  is not that vague kind of thing.We all see a lot of activity around us in fact we only see activity around us!Who has seen inactivity?I haven't till now.So it is pretty natural for us to be bent towards activity but this is not about activity.I'd rather like to explore re-activity.Yes the reaction we immediately put forward whenever we see some favourable/non favourable activity. I love analysing things both in their minute as well as in their manifest form.I believe this is a way to realize the truth.So if I say reactivity I'd like to explore both minute as well as vast implications of our reactivity to outside action.There are only three kind of possible activities which require a reaction from us: Favourable activity arousing appreciation

The change I am boasting about these days,could until last week, be only be observed by me as my public interaction was negligible if not nil.But now with the start of a new semester,I have been meeting people but with a new and different attitude.I do not have any problems as such with the people but of course it has developed over a long period of time and this change has only strengthened it.Now thinking about the nature of goodness and evil I often come across contrasting situations where it is almost impossible to apply the judgement.I think,at that level, a faith is necessary.A faith in your beliefs or religion would suffice.These days have been pretty light compared to previous time an I can't stop thanking my recent shift of focus towards myself.I have been guided by thoughts of one of the most influential guides this world has ever seen and sometimes I too get amazed at how he explained to cope with even the most minute circumstances in life. It feels like a burden is off

It has really been a very interesting first week here at the college after the break.I have applied my new way of thinking to my public life without much difficulties and I’m really going strong in consolidating it.One thing is worth mentioning and that it my concentration level has increased manifold.Earlier it’d be nearly impossible to stay at the library for more than 30 minutes at a go and today it has been more than three hours and I don’t feel the need to go out of here.I have nearly finished a philosophical book and now as I’m typing this I feel at ease. But this is really a very huge thing keeping my standards in view.From being a rogue human to being able to walk on the path leading to sincerity it has really been a marvellous change.Now a few things come into my mind when I contemplate this change and I’d like to mention them. First of all the change I’m talking about is not a result of something which was done extensively as the input and resulted in a awesome output.It i

Sometimes we feel superior to others but the reality is  we are being fooled by our delusion the moment we think that we know a lot.Most of the time I used to think I committed some mistakes which I should not have and usually I got buried under the weight of that guilt.But now I’ve realized or I should say found a way to rise above it.Well,all of us commit mistakes ,It’s not a big thing to commit mistakes but the real problem starts with the analysis.We always have a perception of ourselves as the “most perfect-never wrong” kind of person so it seems unbelievable to recognize the mistake done by us!And the reaction it usually comes out in two ways:The extrovert believes he is the perfect one and always blames the others including persons,events,objects and even animals for the mistakes done by him.The introvert person is always looking deep within so he cant believe it was him who did the mistake and often sinks in depression.I’m the introvert kind of guy.Both of these reactions have

I am all by myself at the present.I don’t have a teacher to help me and all I can take guidance from is a few books which I’ve downloaded over the time.But that is definitely not important as the mind control is to be learnt and practised all by oneself if best results are expected. Coming on to my life I after studying a few books got pretty interested in this and believe me it is proving to be a very enjoyable experience.Reading your own mind is a necessary thing to do if we have to succeed here and beyond as it gives an insight into our own way of thinking and also guides our consciousness to the present.As I have learnt my mind has only three kind of processes,it may be different for others.Anyways these are: Memories of the past Expectations about the future Fantasies. And all these processes are interlinked a lot of times.Sometimes it occurs as a chain and it really is amazing to note how the processes interchange.And as usual these processes are coloured by feelings which