I feel like writing about myself after a long time.By the way through penning down ideas about my personal self here I get a lot of benefits as I don't have to go about troubling someone with my life story.Well,ever since I got into this whole mindfulness practice,I have honestly followed it while sometimes getting off the road although through ignorance itself.
As far as I have read,I think it is not sufficient to be confined only to books in order to enjoy the present moment.I have some memories of the past which pull me down and as everyone else I wish there was a 'men in black' sort of flash which could erase everything but hey it's real life and things don't get done that way here.We have to face the consequences.I have been harsh on myself till date an now I realize this approach of mine towards myself is not working at all.In fact all the negative thought I had in my mind seems now to be centered on me as I don't have anyone to hate!So it requires immediate attention.Well I don't think I can change the past or the course of future for that instance and it is wise to remain indulged in present moment itself.By it I'll do a lot good to myself as well as others around me.As the exams got over I had almost a month of free time and I felt it was better if I could cover some of my previous papers in the form of a revision.Unfortunately I could not do that,owing to a lot of distractions in the mind.So on one hand I could not look back and find anything substantial in the past month yet I can't say I did not do anything.I read a few of the books,and a few of the reading material I'd collected just for some information.
Now coming to another point.My life has been monotonic for quite some time now.Just the usual going to college,studying usual subject and visiting no place at all.From the mental point of view I could not do anything 'productive' with this mind over a long time.I mean I look at people with so many people skilled,socially complete,living in a circle and overall so much immersed in their own little lives and here I am,sitting alone living seclusion thinking about the others.I don't wish to complain,neither I'm unhappy with my life.It's just that I feel so isolated at times.I strongly hope it is for a good cause.My viewpoints on various issues is in direct conflict with the generally accepted view and I definitely have to think a lot before talking to anyone.Anyways I manage it so its no big deal.
I have a certain view about some specific issues and in order to present them in any form I need to accumulate a lot of information pertaining to the issues mentioned above as no one is interested in misinformation.So what should I do?Well collect the information right.But right before I start I get the fatal question comes about and it is-why?And I then wonder exactly why I should do it and I get no answer.This has been happening for quite sometime now.The idea is there,I set out out to do something about it and then it terminates right before it begins and I'm sitting like I don't do anything.I need to cross this certain threshold.Then the thing is a lot of times I prove to be hypocritical.And my question is that what is the need for consistency?Well look at everyone we all are fighting to prove ourselves consistent.Why?Maybe it is because being consistent makes us appear truthful.I don't have any such reservations.I don't have anything to worry in that area as if I speak the truth I don't need to prove it and if I lie I do it neatly so that no one can detect it.Of course lying is not my preferred way but there are situation where you can do a lot good to others by telling a lie.So I appear sometimes telling this and sometimes taking a totally different line.It is because of my perspective on various issues.But,I don't compromise on moral values.I'm consistent in that field at least.
Inquiring the self gives me a lot of knowledge about the inner working of a human and I can then think about the external world as well but with a certain control as I feel it comes automatically.Well,by the knowledge we can respond better to circumstances as compared to the ignorance of self.But then I have to recognize that I'm just a man who has just entered this wonderful thought system which can work wonders if applied to the fullest.I don't have a nature of being boastful of myself so it is not expected of me to consider myself superior to persons around me.I sound rude sometimes while sometimes my words have been way careless all because I could not control my mouth or I got carried away by the situation but everytime I get carried away I get motivation powerful enough to help me next time.And now with a mindful approach to everything I think I won't commit some common errors.It's like I'm learning to cook some meal and everytime I do it,something gets wrong and the taste is awful,but I won't give up at all.
As far as I have read,I think it is not sufficient to be confined only to books in order to enjoy the present moment.I have some memories of the past which pull me down and as everyone else I wish there was a 'men in black' sort of flash which could erase everything but hey it's real life and things don't get done that way here.We have to face the consequences.I have been harsh on myself till date an now I realize this approach of mine towards myself is not working at all.In fact all the negative thought I had in my mind seems now to be centered on me as I don't have anyone to hate!So it requires immediate attention.Well I don't think I can change the past or the course of future for that instance and it is wise to remain indulged in present moment itself.By it I'll do a lot good to myself as well as others around me.As the exams got over I had almost a month of free time and I felt it was better if I could cover some of my previous papers in the form of a revision.Unfortunately I could not do that,owing to a lot of distractions in the mind.So on one hand I could not look back and find anything substantial in the past month yet I can't say I did not do anything.I read a few of the books,and a few of the reading material I'd collected just for some information.
Now coming to another point.My life has been monotonic for quite some time now.Just the usual going to college,studying usual subject and visiting no place at all.From the mental point of view I could not do anything 'productive' with this mind over a long time.I mean I look at people with so many people skilled,socially complete,living in a circle and overall so much immersed in their own little lives and here I am,sitting alone living seclusion thinking about the others.I don't wish to complain,neither I'm unhappy with my life.It's just that I feel so isolated at times.I strongly hope it is for a good cause.My viewpoints on various issues is in direct conflict with the generally accepted view and I definitely have to think a lot before talking to anyone.Anyways I manage it so its no big deal.
I have a certain view about some specific issues and in order to present them in any form I need to accumulate a lot of information pertaining to the issues mentioned above as no one is interested in misinformation.So what should I do?Well collect the information right.But right before I start I get the fatal question comes about and it is-why?And I then wonder exactly why I should do it and I get no answer.This has been happening for quite sometime now.The idea is there,I set out out to do something about it and then it terminates right before it begins and I'm sitting like I don't do anything.I need to cross this certain threshold.Then the thing is a lot of times I prove to be hypocritical.And my question is that what is the need for consistency?Well look at everyone we all are fighting to prove ourselves consistent.Why?Maybe it is because being consistent makes us appear truthful.I don't have any such reservations.I don't have anything to worry in that area as if I speak the truth I don't need to prove it and if I lie I do it neatly so that no one can detect it.Of course lying is not my preferred way but there are situation where you can do a lot good to others by telling a lie.So I appear sometimes telling this and sometimes taking a totally different line.It is because of my perspective on various issues.But,I don't compromise on moral values.I'm consistent in that field at least.
Inquiring the self gives me a lot of knowledge about the inner working of a human and I can then think about the external world as well but with a certain control as I feel it comes automatically.Well,by the knowledge we can respond better to circumstances as compared to the ignorance of self.But then I have to recognize that I'm just a man who has just entered this wonderful thought system which can work wonders if applied to the fullest.I don't have a nature of being boastful of myself so it is not expected of me to consider myself superior to persons around me.I sound rude sometimes while sometimes my words have been way careless all because I could not control my mouth or I got carried away by the situation but everytime I get carried away I get motivation powerful enough to help me next time.And now with a mindful approach to everything I think I won't commit some common errors.It's like I'm learning to cook some meal and everytime I do it,something gets wrong and the taste is awful,but I won't give up at all.
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