Skip to main content

JUST MOVING ON-23

The breaks definitely have a lot of positives for me as I can get an insight of the path I’ve been following over a certain period.This year as I’ve been traversing a different path with my new revamped point of view towards life,it’s been even more helpful to have a break at the moment.Well I’ve never been a person who hesitates from finding fault in himself so it is not a big deal analysing the errors I committed in recent times.Some have been ignorable while some have brought with themselves a lot of shame as well as a lesson and induced resolve to never ever repeat them in future.I’ll not go in details about the errors I committed as I think the best way and timing to look at them is the moment they were committed.This way we can even correct ourselves more accurately.
Even though I’ve not a lot of things to do at my home,I don’t think I get bored.I’ve collected a few items to read in spare times and I don’t think there has been a moment when I thought what to do next.But the fact that I don’t do something significant sometimes haunts me.I know how it sounds but what to do.I can’t even find the correct explanation of the word ’significant’!For the time being I take it to be with respect to the people around you.So I stay at home all day and night get out only at the evening,talk to no one and remain lost within myself giving the impression of the crazy introvert who hides way from the world.I don’t do that of course.It’s that I don’t find mingling with the world interesting.Probably this is the reason why despite having a lot of relatives and friends,I find no one with whom I can share my thoughts!Its not that I regret this but the fact that you are different is sometimes hard to digest!I put my entire focus on my academics and try to study and sometimes I feel like I’m not studying at all rather I’m making room for the future when I hope I’ll reach a higher academic level.Now I think the goal is clear,its the path which is not and hence the most confusing part of it.
I feel like not thinking at all especially about the future but at the moment the steps taken at present will determine my future position,apparently.So it is necessary I dedicate some time thinking and speculating about the actions and their related results.In short I’m confused and can’t find a way out at present.Which path to follow well,I can’t tell.It will be determined by me but really?I’ll be graduating soon and there are a lot of exams to come both actually and symbolically.So I’ve to prepare myself forgetting all the petty things I get usually involved in.
The mind needs to be focussed and the tongue need to be controlled.I’ve realized my two biggest hurdles.One is my untamed mind which wanders off many a times unknowingly and remains beyond control of myself.The concentration is not something which needs to be told in detail as everyone among us recognizes the fact that possession of a concentrated mind is the only difference between successful and not so successful among us.I’ve tried controlling it a lot and failed most of the time.But every time I fail I recognize the need of it and hence get some motivation out of it.
I talk a lot,meaninglessly most of the time and hence people have no respect what so ever for me.It’s not that I seek respect but its better living in an environment of mutual respect than of repeated bashing.My immediate concern is keeping my mouth under control and I’ll not compromize with it.That’s for sure and as I get out I’ll keep a watch over my tongue and hope that it does not waggle too much.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

NAGALAND: FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Not too many people have Nagaland in their bucket list. Uncomfortable roads, poor transport system and a lot of corruption are a few factors which contribute to it. Added to it the stories of still active insurgency, Nagaland although an extremely beautiful hill state doesn’t manage to have a lot of tourism going on except for the Hornbill festival in December every year. But, my case is slightly different. Affinity towards the culture of the entire North east, plus a desire to visit not to tourist frequented places made Nagaland a definite must go. So, when I got time and saved some money, I immediately planned a trip to the beautiful hilly state with my girlfriend. The Nagaland express Since, th is was my second trip towards the hills of the North east, I was more confident and familiar with the sytem than the previous time. We booked a filght to Guwahati and from there we took a train to Dimapur aptly named : The ”Nagaland Express”. This...

2015 GONE..............2016 IN...

The year 2015 has passed quietly and we are in 2016 now!For me,this year was significant in terms of academics.First of all,I managed to secure a seat at the prestigious BHU which was like a dream come true for me.Then,this was the year I left my home for the first time,to live in some distant place.It has been almost six months since I left home and now I fell comfortable in my adopted home for the time being. The year 2015 started with me preparing for the IIT-JAM scheduled on the 8th of February.There were four of us who used to meet quite often and discuss our preparations.I remember often on days,I used to study for 8 full hours in a day!Yet,as confident we were on the exam day,things were not so pleasant the day the results were announced.None of us was able to secure a good rank although all of us managed to 'pass'the exam. The entire months of February and March were spent in speculation of the above mentioned result and we did not study at all during that time.The...

STARTING NEW LIFE AT BHU..

BHU gate Lanka Finally after a hectic 10 day period in which I moved from Delhi to Varanasi twice and ran here and there continuously throughout,I am finally at peace.Getting admitted to BHU was like a dream come true for me.I have aspired to be a part of this prestigious institution ever since my childhood and the satisfaction I feel these days is hard to express by words. The results were out in the first week of July and ever since then,I have been restless.I clearly remember how I spent two entire weeks,losing my sleep and being restless throughout.The restlessness is taking a toll on my body and I feel a little tired but as almost everything is settled now,there is no issue as such with regard to tiredness.Moreover,the excitement of living in a place like Varanasi is too much to overcome.It always had a very special part in my heart and now as I have got the full two years to live here,it is satisfying indeed! Leaving the family  is never a happy affair and it is sadde...