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JUST MOVING ON-23

The breaks definitely have a lot of positives for me as I can get an insight of the path I’ve been following over a certain period.This year as I’ve been traversing a different path with my new revamped point of view towards life,it’s been even more helpful to have a break at the moment.Well I’ve never been a person who hesitates from finding fault in himself so it is not a big deal analysing the errors I committed in recent times.Some have been ignorable while some have brought with themselves a lot of shame as well as a lesson and induced resolve to never ever repeat them in future.I’ll not go in details about the errors I committed as I think the best way and timing to look at them is the moment they were committed.This way we can even correct ourselves more accurately.
Even though I’ve not a lot of things to do at my home,I don’t think I get bored.I’ve collected a few items to read in spare times and I don’t think there has been a moment when I thought what to do next.But the fact that I don’t do something significant sometimes haunts me.I know how it sounds but what to do.I can’t even find the correct explanation of the word ’significant’!For the time being I take it to be with respect to the people around you.So I stay at home all day and night get out only at the evening,talk to no one and remain lost within myself giving the impression of the crazy introvert who hides way from the world.I don’t do that of course.It’s that I don’t find mingling with the world interesting.Probably this is the reason why despite having a lot of relatives and friends,I find no one with whom I can share my thoughts!Its not that I regret this but the fact that you are different is sometimes hard to digest!I put my entire focus on my academics and try to study and sometimes I feel like I’m not studying at all rather I’m making room for the future when I hope I’ll reach a higher academic level.Now I think the goal is clear,its the path which is not and hence the most confusing part of it.
I feel like not thinking at all especially about the future but at the moment the steps taken at present will determine my future position,apparently.So it is necessary I dedicate some time thinking and speculating about the actions and their related results.In short I’m confused and can’t find a way out at present.Which path to follow well,I can’t tell.It will be determined by me but really?I’ll be graduating soon and there are a lot of exams to come both actually and symbolically.So I’ve to prepare myself forgetting all the petty things I get usually involved in.
The mind needs to be focussed and the tongue need to be controlled.I’ve realized my two biggest hurdles.One is my untamed mind which wanders off many a times unknowingly and remains beyond control of myself.The concentration is not something which needs to be told in detail as everyone among us recognizes the fact that possession of a concentrated mind is the only difference between successful and not so successful among us.I’ve tried controlling it a lot and failed most of the time.But every time I fail I recognize the need of it and hence get some motivation out of it.
I talk a lot,meaninglessly most of the time and hence people have no respect what so ever for me.It’s not that I seek respect but its better living in an environment of mutual respect than of repeated bashing.My immediate concern is keeping my mouth under control and I’ll not compromize with it.That’s for sure and as I get out I’ll keep a watch over my tongue and hope that it does not waggle too much.

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