MY THOUGHTS AND IDEAS...

The year 2015 has passed quietly and we are in 2016 now!For me,this year was significant in terms of academics.First of all,I managed to secure a seat at the prestigious BHU which was like a dream come true for me.Then,this was the year I left my home for the first time,to live in some distant place.It has been almost six months since I left home and now I fell comfortable in my adopted home for the time being. The year 2015 started with me preparing for the IIT-JAM scheduled on the 8th of February.There were four of us who used to meet quite often and discuss our preparations.I remember often on days,I used to study for 8 full hours in a day!Yet,as confident we were on the exam day,things were not so pleasant the day the results were announced.None of us was able to secure a good rank although all of us managed to 'pass'the exam. The entire months of February and March were spent in speculation of the above mentioned result and we did not study at all during that time.The

Concentration is required in every walk of life.Whether we are students or working or even playing no achievement can be made without concentrating the mind. Sadly,these days the situation has become such that I am not able to concentrate my mind properly.With the semester over,I don't have any pressure to study and with no people around,I have developed laziness.I used to get up early ion the morning a few days back,but thanks to this winter and my loneliness I have not been able to get up in the morning a single day this month. Then it comes to studying.I had elaborate plans,when the semester ended but unfortunately I have not been able to concentrate and hence no study at all!I have spent a few hours here and there studying but nothing much significant. There are various reasons for it but the primary one is the lack of concentration.This is a problem which has haunted me for a long time.I make plans,sit down to study but as soon as I do that,my mind deviates to some other

BHU gate Lanka Finally after a hectic 10 day period in which I moved from Delhi to Varanasi twice and ran here and there continuously throughout,I am finally at peace.Getting admitted to BHU was like a dream come true for me.I have aspired to be a part of this prestigious institution ever since my childhood and the satisfaction I feel these days is hard to express by words. The results were out in the first week of July and ever since then,I have been restless.I clearly remember how I spent two entire weeks,losing my sleep and being restless throughout.The restlessness is taking a toll on my body and I feel a little tired but as almost everything is settled now,there is no issue as such with regard to tiredness.Moreover,the excitement of living in a place like Varanasi is too much to overcome.It always had a very special part in my heart and now as I have got the full two years to live here,it is satisfying indeed! Leaving the family  is never a happy affair and it is saddest w

On this blog page,broadly speaking there are articles representing my state of mind at that very moment. Naturally,some of these are positive,indicating I was in a happy state of mind at that moment while some of them are negative indicating otherwise. I was thinking why I put so much of my inner workings of the mind on a place like blogger! Well,I don't think this is meant for a lot of public audience. I don't seek any readers,although someone very close to me can read them with no hesitation what so ever. As far as I'm concerned,I think it will serve as a reminder,when in later years I read back these articles and then laugh about the way I used to think!Writing as a hobby is very interesting one as well as it opens the doors to many possibilities isn't it?While,I might not be writing anything significant,but I'm writing some stuff nevertheless,and it is definitely going to help me in the long run. I love reading books of different genre,and will start writ

I often face a lot of problems dealing with other people. One common accusation I face from others is that of being a hypocrite. But is it really so? I don't think I am a hypocrite but yes it is true that I hold views that might be contradicting in nature at times. Before I start a full scale investigation into my personality and what's wrong with it,I don't think we can do away with the fact that I am a 21 year old person and it is but normal to hold contradictory views,as I'm ye to know the full picture of anything. Even Confucius said:At 15 I set my heart on learning,and by 30 I took my stand. So we have to wait a few more years in order to make my stand firm. What can be the factors for this contradicting views? One very significant factor is that I still am in a learning phase. I am yet to face the many ups and downs of this life and thus am an inexperienced person,a novice. Now to expect an expert like behavior from a novice is a tough ask and I realize it.

Well it's been a long time since i wrote here. more than one month has passed since I last posted here, but unfortunately I have been not feeling well enough to write anything. the examinations have passed, and on the one hand I seem to be relaxed, as there is no pressure of exams on the head but in the other there is a huge uncertainty regarding my future. I have been called for counselling at the BHU but I have a half chance there so i can't be certain about it. if the situation is that even after the counselling I don't get a seat, I'll have to reconsider my plans for the future. first of all i have to get some work as i feel useless these days . even if there is a tuition or two, I'll have some business here. the nothingness really haunts me. I have applied for some jobs as well like the coast guard and the air force but it's not an easy and quick affair and I have to wait months or even years in order to get selected. As one year had passed since I graduat

So finally May is over and a lot of my examinations have concluded too. It means, on one hand I am relaxed and calm while on the other I am excited or should say nervous about my results ahead. This nervousness will subside soon as I won't have to wait longer than a month for the results. I have only one major exam left but I think I have studied what I need to and it is just a matter of time before it passes too. I remember,back in last June I mentioned that my path to future will be decided by the middle of this month,all I can say that it is still undecided. I have appeared for exactly 6 examinations this year,4 of them have been disappointing while the two recent ones raise a glimmer of hope,which is necessary. I have one more chance to get ahead. Only yesterday I appeared for the BHU entrance exams. The question paper did not seem to difficult but once I arrived home I found a few of my mistakes which were silly in nature. It leaves me at a critical point. I can&#

Whenever you feel like there is no purpose to life,that all you seek is eventually going to be wasted,everything you seek is nothing but an illusion and as you reach the destination of this journey known as life it turns out to be - DEATH. By this I don't mean death is horrible or is something to be avoided,but when you don't see a purpose to life itself,it is all frustration. The more I know about life,the more pointless it seems. As a God denier,I don't have the support of some supreme deity. Although,I confess here that I seem to understand now,why more people follow God than who do not. People like me,either give up and say all this God denying was a delusion and follow some religion for the rest of their lives,and the others,keep on struggling. When you do not have a shadow of religion over your head,life is definitely a struggle. But whether this struggle is worth it or not,is a matter of personal experience.  I am too young to give up a search for truth withou

I have been wanting to write down a few of my negative aspects for a long time now. It is sort of a confession or if put in an another way,I want to unburden some of the stuff I have held so secretly in my mind. I have never been a person who likes to share his emotions with other people,no matter how close they are. This is the reason why even with a lot of friends around the corner,when it comes to consoling me during the bad times,I find no one but me. This has been partially because of the my self proclaimed 'expert' like status amidst people who are my friends. I am someone who can help others when in emotional problems but when it comes to me I am left with all but myself. No one tries to help me,as I ask none for it! Things have been accumulating in my brain for a long time now. It is the time I should let out some,in order to have a peaceful future. I have some responsibilities to fulfill and when people find me running away from them,they sort o

I have been reading works of Confucius since a few years and frankly speaking,I find myself connected to his ideas. Whenever I read the 'Doctrine of the mean' or the 'Analects',I don't find these ideas to be coming from the mind of someone sitting in China 2500 years ago,but instead it feels like a good teacher who is very close and is trying to help me understand myself. The ways in which he portrays the problems and then the solutions we can find to our day to day problems,by cultivating our character often amazes me. Today,I was going through 'The analects' and this line suddenly caught my attention. I immediately went into the contemplating mode! Here it is: “In ancient times,men learned with a view to their own improvement. Nowadays,men learn with a view to the approbation of others.”          -Confucius Analects book XIV Now,as I think I am grown enough to think on these issues,it is something very close to my heart. I have graduated an year go,and st

Each one of us has a different perspective of reality and we all 'think' that we are right in the interpretation of the truth. Maybe we all are driven by the seemingly convincing fact that truth can be one and only one and rest other interpretations are false. So what indeed happens when all of us are thinking that we are right? Is the fight between individuals interesting enough? Do we need such kind of debates? Well,whatever maybe the cause,but I think that each one of us face this kind of situation in our daily lives. Whether the case is that we think that we are right,while we may very readily be wrong,or the case is that others are right but we automatically assume them to be wrong,we all face such dilemma in our lives. Someone claims the authority of books,someone claims the authority of reason over everything else,some even claim themselves to be well above others' intellect,while some are indeed mistaken!One argument is th

Things work well in an atmosphere of mutual respect.If we demand respect from someone,we too have to extend the courtesy of respecting him/her.Often in day to day talking,we tend to lose this knowledge,and the results are frustrating at times.Personally speaking,I am at faults most of the time whether knowingly or unknowingly,I enforce my ideas on to others,and someone not of the same view that I am,doesn't manage to get respect from my side at all! Meanwhile,for the persons who agree with me or for the persons who don't agree with me most of them time but do so at times,I am a good,reasonable person.So no wonder why I get praise from some,while curses from others.So how does this arise?How come I disregard others while forcing my way through?First of all,I am someone who is rational by nature so anything irrational is extremely irritating.Then thanks to my upbringing or I should say my way of looking at myself,I have managed to keep emotions away from my day to day dealings w

Recently I came across a photograph showing the view of earth from the lunar surface.What a breathtaking image it is! I don't know why but I can't stop looking at it.I am in love with this photograph even though I have seen it a lot of times in the past too.We all love our mother earth don't we?How she sustains us unconditionally.We are born here,play for a lifetime then leave,just the way it is.Looking at the earth,the tiny blue sphere that it appears like from the lunar surface made me realize how tiny we humans are in the scheme of things.At the same time it made me forget all the day to day worries we  face. There have been a lot of questions in my mind,regarding the origin of life,the purpose of it as well as the sustainability.Somehow,I don't agree with the explanation religions provides with the creationist theory.The scientific theory of the evolution provides some answers,but to only an extent.I believe it has a long way to go before it offers a compreh

Failures are never glorified.This is the way of the world.The theroy of natural selection too seems to confirm that.Of course the most successful have the most chances to survive,others have to make way,however horrible it may sound.For me,failure was never going to be an option so when I failed to clear my entrance exam this month,I was in a state of despair.No hope seemed to be there,all the effort seemed useless and I was caught by surprise,quite literally.As time passed,and a few weeks later,that is today,I think it has left a deep scar on me and I have lost considerable amount of self confidence in the way. My past has never been a memorable one.There have been instances when I cursed myself for being alive here,but I had and still have the hope to succeed.For the past few months,I have been reading a lot of religious stuff and it has provided me a framework to deal with the problems in my life,yet there are a few where I just want to give up.A considerable amount of sel

19 मार्च का दिन था।हम सब परिणाम का इंतजार कर रहे थे।तभी मेरे मित्र ईशान का फोन आया कि परिणाम आ चुके हैं और उसने मात्र ५ अंक प्राप्त किए हैं।मैं आश्चर्य चकित था कि जब इसने इतना बुरा प्रर्दशन किया है तो मेरा क्या हुआ होगा।मैं झट से दौड़कर अपना परिणाम भी देखने पहुँचा,और पाया कि मेरी रेैन्क भी उम्मीद से काफी कम मात्र ११५७ रह गई।थोड़ा झटका तो जरूर लगा पर चूंकि सफलता की आस कुछ वक्त पहले उस मित्र से बात कर के लगभग समाप्त सी हो गई थी,तुरंत ही उस झटके से  उबर भी गए।मेरा एक और दोस्त भी साथ था,उसकी रैन्क मेरे से बेहतर करीब ५०० थी।थोडी खुशी हुई पर उसकी भी दाखिला लेने की संभावना काफी कम है,ऐसा हमें कुछ देर बाद पता चला। तुरंत ही पिछला एक साल आँखों के सामने खड़ा सा हो गया।मन में आया कि इतनी पढाई कर के भी सफलता हाथ न लगी। कहीं वक्त बरबाद तो नहीं हो गया? कहीं हम गलत रास्ते तो नहीं चल दिए?  फिर अपने मन को समझाते हुए मैं घर पहुँचा,तो यह पाया कि मेरी सफलता असफलता का प्रभाव  मेरे प्रियजनों पर ज्यादा नहीं पड़ता।मैंने भी औपचारिक तौर पर यह बता दिया कि इस बार भी नहीं हो पाया।फिर अपनी किताबें पलटने लगा।लग

A trip to places like Haridwar and Rishikesh is always a source of peace,joy and spirituality and when we went to these places this month, it was no different.We had some free time and I along with my two other friends decided to visit Haridwar as well as Rishikesh for a short 4 day trip.As I had spent my childhood in a nearby town,naturally these places were well travelled by me . Day-1:Bus to Haridwar We got up early in the morning,at around 0445,hurriedly got dressed up,called each other and ran off to the ISBT at kashmiri gate to catch an early bus to Haridwar.I was extremely careful to catch the bus as early as possible because of the traffic at the border growing up a few hours later.We expected to catch the bus at around 0700,but as it always happens,we were delayed by around 30 minutes and managed to board the bus as 0730.It was a smooth journey,early in the morning a lot of fresh air poured in,later as it was not too hot,we enjoyed riding the bus in the bri