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EXAMS OVER....WELL ALMOST!!


So finally May is over and a lot of my examinations have concluded too. It means, on one hand I am relaxed and calm while on the other I am excited or should say nervous about my results ahead. This nervousness will subside soon as I won't have to wait longer than a month for the results. I have only one major exam left but I think I have studied what I need to and it is just a matter of time before it passes too.

I remember,back in last June I mentioned that my path to future will be decided by the middle of this month,all I can say that it is still undecided. I have appeared for exactly 6 examinations this year,4 of them have been disappointing while the two recent ones raise a glimmer of hope,which is necessary. I have one more chance to get ahead. Only yesterday I appeared for the BHU entrance exams. The question paper did not seem to difficult but once I arrived home I found a few of my mistakes which were silly in nature. It leaves me at a critical point. I can't be assured of a seat nor I can say I won't make it. But I have done what I had to do,th results are not in my hand so no worries for now.

Coming to the relaxing part first let me describe how complicated my life has become for the past few months. Ever since I learned of my failure in two exams in the month of march,I have been restless and left no stone unturned for a seat in the Msc programme. I have been studying,as hard as possible taking least amount of entertainment and spent my free time worrying for the exams ahead. Moreover,I realized I am not immune to day to day problems. I was worried,nervous,emotional and frightened. Ever since the exam got over yesterday,I have been looking at the past two months.

Had I put in this amount of hard work and dedication an year ago,the story would have been different altogether!

But,that's the way things are. Maybe I'll fail even this year and then I have to kind of reboot my life..and look for a different career path. But it will be a very difficult transition. I might not be able to cope,I might have bouts of depression,I might even start cursing myself for being a repeated failure etc..If that is the case,I think I won't have much say in it and I think I should let time play itself.

We all can try can't we,but the result is not within our control. And even worse is the thing that you might not get a chance to perform again. Let's see what's in store for me in the coming days...

For the moment,I am riding on hopes that I'll be able to find a seat this time,and will move forward in life with various kind of experiences from the past year. If I manage to have my way and get admission to the desired university,i think it will be a victory for me and will serve as a reward for the hard work I have put in,for the past one year. It will serve as a reminder for the rest of my life and I will be able to restart my regular studies with a greater enthusiasm and joy.

If you earn something,the joy gets doubled isn't it?

On the other hand,if I fail to clear the exams this time too,I will have to rethink about my future. There are a variety of ways one can take and at the moment,i don't think I have any problems with switching my ways,although there will be a difficult time adjusting to new kind of life and dreams.

Whatever it is,I think there is no denying to the fact that I have worked hard for the past one year,only in the hope of success in the examinations. If it comes fine,a few moments to celebrate will be there followed by an inner satisfaction.
But I have to keep in mind that:

 Hope for the best,prepare for the worst.

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