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JUST MOVING ON-7

Sometimes we feel superior to others but the reality is  we are being fooled by our delusion the moment we think that we know a lot.Most of the time I used to think I committed some mistakes which I should not have and usually I got buried under the weight of that guilt.But now I’ve realized or I should say found a way to rise above it.Well,all of us commit mistakes ,It’s not a big thing to commit mistakes but the real problem starts with the analysis.We always have a perception of ourselves as the “most perfect-never wrong” kind of person so it seems unbelievable to recognize the mistake done by us!And the reaction it usually comes out in two ways:The extrovert believes he is the perfect one and always blames the others including persons,events,objects and even animals for the mistakes done by him.The introvert person is always looking deep within so he cant believe it was him who did the mistake and often sinks in depression.I’m the introvert kind of guy.Both of these reactions have roots in delusion.Yes our mind does not realize that we are bound to mistake.The only thing we can do is to watch our actions yet mistakes can’t be avoided by common people.
The other thing running into my mind is negativity.Negativity impacts us in same magnitude as positivity does but the direction is opposite.What I mean to say is that the impact of positive thoughts on us causes detachment,renunciation,generosity,loving kindness,sympathy,gentleness and wisdom to arise while the negative thoughts do the exact opposite i.e arising greed,hatred,ill will as well as delusion.I can feel it now and I’m confident everyone can feel it of course once he/she gets away from this negativity for a while.I have been experiencing very different kind of feelings these days.The first thing is that I’ve tried to reduce aversion.I don’t allow aversion to arise inside me although I’ve not tested it a lot in the society.But since I’ve reduced my personal contacts as well it should not be a worry.Doing good is something which was there in my mind but somehow I was not conscious about it.Or rather I should say relative good was something I was concerned about ignoring the absolute good.But there a lot of confusions as well.For example on the one hand I believe there is nothing in this world which is non relative yet on the other I believe absolute good does exist!For the time being I believe what is agreeable with me but obviously I can’t take my belief to be absolute as well.
So,absolute good being sorted I now am looking at ways or rather comparing ways to find out the way which is the best and really the religious teachings are very helpful in this.Renunciation,non attachment,gentleness,loving kindness etc are some parameters I use to compare my actions now but it is not that I’ve become totally different from the past.it is a change and it’ll come gradually and not instantly.it is not an electrical switch.The entire viewpoint towards the life is changing and I am thankful I turned to spirituality for now I can focus on my life better and definitely reduce my delusions.Everything is inside the human mind nothing comes from outside.It is just the delusion which prevents the wisdom from coming out.And thus I feel the need for right effort.Right effort in removing the delusions and revealing the wisdom hidden within is my goal now and probably after a few years I’ll turn back and see how much I succeeded.
Doing good eliminates all other factors as well.I mean we all are concerned with the impressions we leave on others and constantly look for ways to improve it without even bothering to look inside.We think it is the outside appearance i.e a beautiful face,a nice dress,good perfume or  shiny vehicle impresses the people.I don’t agree with it anymore.All material objects are temporary and are bound to be finished sooner or later.The desires related to them are also temporary.A few years back I used to cry for a toy aeroplane in front of my parents,now  I don’t.Some days back I again did the same thing for a laptop and got it.But then have the desires finished?No they increase with time replacing the others.So what to do?I try to avoid temptations.Just take what you are getting and that’s it.move on.Nothing stays.
One thing I’ve seen the person who does good genuinely is probable good in all aspects so now I think goodness inside a person is all pervasive.A person doing good is worried about nothing as rest all takes care of itself and according to me the development of goodness within is important step in the path to eliminate the delusions.But then a lot of things can be said and when it comes to practice all falls flat.We all make the same excuse,the situation demanded so and so so we did it.How cheeky!I did so and so and did not have a conscience.I won’t do it anymore.I think the situations are the opportunities to test our ideals and failures are those who bend in front of them.i won’t.I know I have the power to fight it whatsoever happens.Life is in itself a teacher some of us take it too casually and only wake up when punched hard by the realities still there are some who are mindful and manage to not only look at but follow the path leading to the ultimate goal.

I

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