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JUST MOVING ON-13

Sometimes I feel clueless.I don't know where I'm going and i'm  not sure about my ways eventually leading to a lot of confusion.But then is that it?Where does it all lead to?I don't know I'm confused these days and the only way forward seems to be the one prescribed by religion.
Being a non believer is essential but the everything has its price.By choosing to be a non believer,I've started doubting everything.Now I don't believe some essential things which seems familiar for someone on a spiritual path.This is the only solace I get these days.Not believing in religion,denying the existence of a controller and a lot of atheism has taken me into a realm from where I can't possibly return but then I don't want to!Of course I don't find like minded people which I expected earlier and therefore there is a hint of loneliness as well in my life.I'd be as honest as possible as this is the place where I put down whatever is inside me.
What I see among people is a certain belief system which is their kind of firewall against any external thought system.I mean most of the people have some fixed beliefs and they don't want to know the real truth at all.It may appear delusional at first but then by getting to the root of it I got a very different meaning.I take my life for instance,I don't believe in religion,rituals, lot of human thought,governments etc. but then what is the purpose of this non belief?I don't know.What is the outcome of this non belief.I don't know!But one thing I know for sure that nothing matters in the long term.So what is better to be a believer or a non believer.My argument is pretty weak on a large scale but It is apparent on a minute scale.
One thing is sure whatever we think or do has no significant impact in the long term,its all a flash so nothing matters.Then we need some beliefs to run our lives.So now I realize why religion arose and continues to flourish all over the world in various forms.People need some belief system otherwise they'll be like loose cattle ransacking the whole creation.
Let's take any moral value for instance.Killing someone is not good and is accepted throughout as an evil so what's wrong if people believe it and don't want to test it?I don't know.But one thing I know we have to have some beliefs otherwise we'll reach a confused state of mind as I've reached these days.But then there are superstitions.So to maintain a balance between our beliefs and our rationale is something to be pursued as I think it is the only logical way forward.There is no place for superstitions in the name of religion and any such thing is a contributing factor in the degradation of religion throughout.Looking at the current state there arise two possibilities for a sane individual:one being the complete with drawl from the society and live  in solitude and the other being a total involvement in it but the second one has a long list of prerequisites as I have understood.One being the development of the ability to judge but then judging is limited by the sense of good and evil so we need something superior as well.So does religion have a requirement here?I think yes until human mind develops an alternative where there is no religion.But we are far from conceptualizing it even with so much of non belief.
So people have to move forward and develop a whole new thought system.A thought system which will eliminate all the evils arising out of the current thought system.A system not bounded by religion,geography and indifference among humans.A system which can collectively be agreeable to the mind of a poor man and equally to the mind of a rich man.A system where every indifference is eliminated automatically.But the central point is what will be the backbone of such kind of a system?What will it be based on?But before looking for an answer to these questions,we must find reasons strong enough to eliminate current system.
Such a question is expected to have an enormous answer,I don't think all the current texts criticizing the societal state can collectively convince the human thinking for it being almost independent of the outer influence to a large extent.

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