Today I feel like I should pen down
what I've been feeling over the past few days.I don't talk much
personally with people as I don't feel it appropriate to present your
entangled life in present of others.Well talking of problems,i don't
seem to have any but the underlying thing is that I've been thinking
a lot over these days and I don't seem to be heading towards any
direction.My life in particular is very calm indeed but I'm not sure
how calm it'll be in the coming times say next year.Next year as i
graduate from here there arises the biggest question in probably my
entire life and it is-what next?And as any sane individual I've been
finding answers to this very problem and the thing I feel lacking is
proper guidance and motivation.i mean its not like I'm depressed and
all that but probably a little bit of motivation is needed.I have
selected a few ways for me to head to next year but since I lack
anyone to guide me,the feeling of being alone sometimes haunts me.My
friends although very nice are not able to motivate me and the fault
is all mine as I've noticed.
So I've to prepare for the entrance
exams and there are a lot of them!I'm not sure which one is right for
me looking at the circumstances.One side of me says don't stop and
take the university entrance exam right away and join the classes for
msc and then look for beyond.I think this is the best advice I have
at the moment from my internal self.Whatever I do I'm not in favour
of dropping studies after the graduate level and i have to do my PG
at any cost.Then maybe I can move forward and there are two ways
which i've shortlisted over these few years of constant search for a
proper career.And these are-after PG sit for the UGC-NET exam and
continue study in the higher level of physics as it will be satisfying
for one part of me.The second one is sit for the various govt
civil/paramilitary exams and serve the country through the
civil/paramilitary services.Well this will be satisfying for me as
well.The thing is though which way should I direct my studies upon as
the two ways are apart and the approach towards the subject in
particular needs to be changed.For example in order to clear the
civil services I need to boost my analytical skills as well as my
information base which is terribly lacking at the moment.
I feel like entangled between the two
career choices and if I find a unified way it'll be very easy going
for me.All right now going a bit away from career,my personal life is
comfortable as I mentioned earlier.I've been getting sufficient sleep
and with the exams round the corner,I spend almost entire day in my
little room.Sometimes studying,sometimes watching TV,sometimes
browsing the net and sometimes reading religious book.Altogether it's
a pretty comfortable time of my life with no worries.The thing I
crave for although is my born desire to travel.I don't travel enough
and sometimes I feel it is the thing missing from my life.Only last
month I traveled to my village in Bihar and the vacation although
short was enjoyable and memorable there.I hope I get a lot of travel
soon in the coming days.
And the last thing I'd like to mention
here is my college.The time spent in the college will be memorable
for the lifetime.The friends we made have now become family,the
teachers well what to say about them.Some of them showed what
dedication to the job is and this is the biggest positive I'll take
form here.Although there is still a semester to go before we leave,it
felt nice to be in the college and I'll miss it.Hope the next college
I hook on to is even better but in this journey of life,spending time
here has been fascinating.
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