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JUST MOVING ON-18


Today I feel like I should pen down what I've been feeling over the past few days.I don't talk much personally with people as I don't feel it appropriate to present your entangled life in present of others.Well talking of problems,i don't seem to have any but the underlying thing is that I've been thinking a lot over these days and I don't seem to be heading towards any direction.My life in particular is very calm indeed but I'm not sure how calm it'll be in the coming times say next year.Next year as i graduate from here there arises the biggest question in probably my entire life and it is-what next?And as any sane individual I've been finding answers to this very problem and the thing I feel lacking is proper guidance and motivation.i mean its not like I'm depressed and all that but probably a little bit of motivation is needed.I have selected a few ways for me to head to next year but since I lack anyone to guide me,the feeling of being alone sometimes haunts me.My friends although very nice are not able to motivate me and the fault is all mine as I've noticed.
So I've to prepare for the entrance exams and there are a lot of them!I'm not sure which one is right for me looking at the circumstances.One side of me says don't stop and take the university entrance exam right away and join the classes for msc and then look for beyond.I think this is the best advice I have at the moment from my internal self.Whatever I do I'm not in favour of dropping studies after the graduate level and i have to do my PG at any cost.Then maybe I can move forward and there are two ways which i've shortlisted over these few years of constant search for a proper career.And these are-after PG sit for the UGC-NET exam and continue study in the higher level of physics as it will be satisfying for one part of me.The second one is sit for the various govt civil/paramilitary exams and serve the country through the civil/paramilitary services.Well this will be satisfying for me as well.The thing is though which way should I direct my studies upon as the two ways are apart and the approach towards the subject in particular needs to be changed.For example in order to clear the civil services I need to boost my analytical skills as well as my information base which is terribly lacking at the moment.
I feel like entangled between the two career choices and if I find a unified way it'll be very easy going for me.All right now going a bit away from career,my personal life is comfortable as I mentioned earlier.I've been getting sufficient sleep and with the exams round the corner,I spend almost entire day in my little room.Sometimes studying,sometimes watching TV,sometimes browsing the net and sometimes reading religious book.Altogether it's a pretty comfortable time of my life with no worries.The thing I crave for although is my born desire to travel.I don't travel enough and sometimes I feel it is the thing missing from my life.Only last month I traveled to my village in Bihar and the vacation although short was enjoyable and memorable there.I hope I get a lot of travel soon in the coming days.
And the last thing I'd like to mention here is my college.The time spent in the college will be memorable for the lifetime.The friends we made have now become family,the teachers well what to say about them.Some of them showed what dedication to the job is and this is the biggest positive I'll take form here.Although there is still a semester to go before we leave,it felt nice to be in the college and I'll miss it.Hope the next college I hook on to is even better but in this journey of life,spending time here has been fascinating.

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