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JUST MOVING ON-65


The year is about to end,almost 6 months have passed since I left college and now I feel there is a certain nervousnes regarding the exams coming soon.I have been studying continuously but for the past few weeks I feel I have not been up to the mark.I sometimes doubt my capabilities and yes some if not most part of my sylllabus definitely goes over my head.I have been watching it over time and feel frustrated when I'm not able to understand the thing I'm trying to.
Weekends especially sunday is off for me.I don't study much on sundays.Most of the sundays are spent watching TV at home or with friends at some public place.I feel it is much needed as we get to meet each other,share our feelings and have a lot of talk on other issues.I will be disappointed if i don't manage to clear the exams and thus I'm trying my best to succeed.At the moment the top focus of my life is getting to a graduate program at any of the top institutes and further my studies.
At home there has not been much change for the last few months.Everything is as it was a few months ago.I picked up a few tuitions to kill some time and gain teaching experience,which is being done quite satisfactorily.The only problem that occurs during these tuitions is when the students don't perform.You begin to question yourself,you start thinking all was your fault.But I have seen more than the teacher,it is the ignorant student who is responsible.Other than that it works fine,you get warm reception,people respect you for your job and it is a good mind refreshing 1-1.5 hour session.I enjoy doing it.I have to study for a few minutes prior to the class so that I don't end up being confused like the student.Overall it is a good way for someone like me to kill time and make some money doing so.The only glitch is that the student must perform well otherwise you might end up like a stupid who doesn't know how to do his job.
I have not left the city for quite some time now.I don't know why,but the time doesn't seem suitable to go out for a week or so.I feel like once the exams are over,I'll get a lot of free time and then I can have some outstation tour if possible.I don't think I'll be able to go out for anouther two months.I have to study too much in that period.March and probably april will be the best time to visit some outstation place as the weather will be nice and I'll have plenty of time too.I have not been in touch with a lot of people since I left college,but it has been my nature.Earlier I used to complain about it,but now I feel it is one of my best characteristics.I can focus a lot more on the things I want to,without bothering about a lot of people around me.
Recently,I have thought against writing about myself every week.Because I was bored of writing about the same thing again and again.I think I write something here because I don't have someone else.I think it as a useful tool to put my ideas,and by typing them up,I think,relieves me as well.As humans we want to share as much as possible.But isolation too has been a luxury these days!I have to sync myself with others and in that I feel maintaining a good distance is absoultely necessary.By not being involved too much in others' lives,I save myself a lot of time and energy.The flip side is that when I do feel down and out,there is no one to pick me up!And there I feel by writing my ideas I gain a sort of mental relief!
These days,there has not been any exciting event in my life.Everything is moving forward the way it should,I don't have to apply myself too often to the situation,I think this continuous flow needs to be continued,at least until I get what I want these days.I have taken a break for alost an year and I don't want it to go in vain.

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