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JUST MOVING ON-62


I have a habit of taking a lot of things too lightly,sometimes things go off the limits but most of the time I enjoy doing so.I am not someone who picks up a fight over petty issues,neither I am someone who cries because somebody broke his things.I admit in the childhood I could have behaved like that but not now,I am matured enough.
People have a lot of complaints about that.I am too casual in my approach,allegedly so and often make fun of a lot of things.But this is the way I am and it is not going to change.On any normal day,I have a 1000 things running in my mind and like everybody else I get confused the moment I wake up in the morning and start thinking.There are a lot of things to do,a lot of plans to execute and a lot of exciting ideas to work on,but above all there is a lot of confusion.This kind of a feeling sometimes takes up too much of my precious morning time and I end up sitting for an hour doing nothing!
For the past few days,I have developed a lof of good habits,waking up early and going to bed at time is one on them.I get ample amount of time during the day to study,watch TV read other books,walk in the market and then think about other things as well.I have learnt some time management techniques as well,like I have fixed hours to do a particular thing.Like I have to study 6 hours a day and I have fixed them,and roughly speaking I follow it as well.

I lack concentration.It was a problem 5 years ago and contines still today.I don't want it further years down the line and hence I recognize it as a problem.I can't fix my mind on a particular thing.Say I have to study 3 hours but I fail to do it continuously.I have to take breaks every 20 minutes or so,sometimes its just for water,sometimes over some oher matter.Similarly if I read some book,I can't read continuously for an hour.The mind is as restless as a monkey,and I have problems bringing it undee control.It is not that I do reckless things every now and then,but still concentration is needed.Without concentration I can't succeed and do things I am supposed to do.Someday or the other,when I turn back and read this,I hope to have mastered the art of concentration.
Earlier i was more concerned with what other may think of what I am doing,but lately I have been following a different path secluded from others.There is no need for approval and there is thus no need to listen to this blah blah blah..from others.It hampers in the long run.As a child I was supposed to listen to elders,follow someone but as I grew up I started seeing faults in others.I did not want to listen to someone who can't inspire me.I never listen to people like these.I have my own path,which I follow proudly.Success or failure whatever it is,I don't mind at the moment.Sometimes its the journey more than the destination,which matters!I do contemplate sometimes,about my place in the entire scheme of things and I get confused a lot of times thinking over this.Probably all of us want to know why are we here!None of us can stop getting fascinated by the nature around us.We are all confused in our little lives trying to do something which provides us a sense of accomplishment but if thought over,we all are confused.

I have not found any answer as of now,but I won't stop looking for it.

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