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JUST MOVING ON-55

I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.There is no other option.Sometimes I have to yell these words to me so that I don't lose track.Well,as I planned to drop an year and prepare for the examinations in the subsequent year,I expected there will be some low points.There will be moments when I lose motivation and question my decision altogether!

This kind of feeling has its roots in self doubt.But if self doubt is the negative thing,the positive analogue of it should be self belief.I have belief in myself,but sometimes distracted by others' opinions,some amount of doubt settles in.Then I start thinking 'realistically' which translates to reduction of extra amount of self confidence or I should say extra confidence!The notification,for the exams I'm preparing is out,6 months in advance and there is no better time than right at this moment to visualise the goal.I have to clear the exam,there is no other alternative.I personally killed all other alternatives to concentrate on one thing and one thing only!So one might imagine what I should be feeling when even an iota of self doubt settles in.

The preparation,although substantial has not been up to the mark and I have to admit that.I managed to study around 84 hours in the last entire month when I should have been getting at least 40 per week!A success rate of 50% only.It's not that I did not have the time or motivation but I lacked a proper plan.Now with a colleague of mine,I managed to put up a plan for the remaining 20 weeks or so,and which will direct my preparations as well.I have the ideas,motivation as well as plenty of time.Now I need books,a lot of them with a lot of questions.

Having a distraction free mind is the key and so far I've not been able to do so satisfactorily,and paid the price.Now I have the opportunity to apply the control techniques I've learnt in the past year and then get the expected results.If I manage to succeed this time,a lot of credit definitely will go to the teachings which changed or I should say revolutionised my life.I had problems earlier and could not help but worry about them constantly.I still have problems,of a lower magnitude though,and the added benefit is that I don't have to worry about them at all.A unique calm has engulfed my mind and whatever might be the situation I don't lose myself.Although my social interaction has been far from normal,but I have taken it to be a habit so no worries in this lifetime,at least.My interactions will be far from normal and I don't have any complains as such.

A proper study schedule was the need of the hour,I got it,A few books are being arranged and soon I'll start rolling.Still,even a little bit of self doubt is harmful for the health and I'll be very cautious in the future;when talking to persons who induce self doubt in me.I have confidence,will and the resources to succeed and I can't accept self doubt ruining it for me.All luxuries can be suspended and all pleasurable moments will have to wait at least a few months.I don't expect them to be easy or comfortable but I have to work hard in order to succeed.This is what has been done until now,this is what will be done in the next few months although efforts need to be multiplied greatly.

The thing I'm aiming for is not hard to attain for one who is willing to work hard.Things will always be difficult for lazy ones and often sometimes one of them pops up and says-hey you know what,I don't think you can do this!!!!!
The first thing I have is anger then I have pity and then after a few milliseconds I forget he even said that.All these actions take a couple of seconds but sometimes the anger doesn't recede and then I have huge amount of self doubt all due to the lazy man!or is it due to me?Of course I need self control,a lot of it because ultimately I'm the one being a subject here!

A calm mind,a clear view of the future and having enough resources wit me I will work harder and harder till I succeed.This is my resolve and I can do it.

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