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JUST MOVING ON-68


For the last 8 months,I have been sitting at home,studying for the entrance exams.As the exams are over for the time being,I feel lonely and work less these days.I get bored easily on account of this.It has been almost a week since I opened any book or did anything meaningful.I have been sitting,the only active work being going to the tuition classes 4-5 days a week.With the academic year about to end,this too will halt for the time being.

As I was studying for an entrance exam,I had a study plan.If I manage to clear the exams,I'll be very happy about the success of my plan while if I don't I'll feel sorry about wasting time for so long.Frankly speaking,once you fail everything you did in the way appears wrong and everything you did not do hurts.But whatever,whether I succeed or fail,one thing is clear and it is that I managed to kill a lot of time doing some work or the other.Initially,I framed up a study schedule and managed to follow it till the end.I had a lot of syllabus and plenty of time to cover that over and over again.I studied for 4 months at a go,devoting two weeks to every unit of the syllabus.And as soon as I finished that,I started doing questions a lot of them.It took almost 8 weeks and I was looking at the exam 1 week away.It was a crunch time.Sometimes I felt like time was passing too fast,sometimes I felt like doing nothing but studying.Whatever,I spent a lot of time studying for the past few months.If I fail there will be some disappointment but it does not matter much.Afterall,one exam is nothing.


The thing is that,at one hand I was studying 8-9 hours a day,and these days I am down to zero.This sudden change is hard to adapt myself to,but I have to be this way for the next two months at least.I will of course utilize time to study some thing or the other,but then I don't have any academic commitments as of now and it is really frustrating.I am waiting anxiously for the results to be declared.I have a hunch that I won't be able to make it!Yet,there is a feeble chance of making it and this is the reason I am anxious.


The TV doesn't entertain anymore,I have a ,lot of books with me but there needs to be constant motivation to read a particular book.I have some religious books to which I read occasionally.These books provide much needed calmness and hope these days.I am facing failures one after the other.I hope the point where I'll start succeeding is not far from here.


Inactivity which was boring me a few months ago,has sadly returned to my life and I'm thinking of ways to beat it now.I plan to visit some outstation places once the academic year is over.I have collected some money which I'll use to visit the outstation places in the coming days.There are a lot of places to visit.I have a long list of places to visit,so I'll start this year.Then I have to secure admission to some university this year.I f I don't it will be the end of road for me.Then I have to stop dreaming and start compromizing,which I think will be hellish for me.I have not prepared myself for a compromizing life ahead thus I think,it will a horror if I am forced to do so.

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