Well,the day I had been waiting for almost an year has passed and it did not happen as expected.I had been preparing hard for the exam,and yet things did not get the way i wanted them to.I do not hope to get good marks in the exam,hence there is a lot of frustration and depression accompanying it,which I have to withstand now.
Yes it feels bad when you fail after hard work.I can't help but feel frustrated now.I did what ever I could,I studied things over and over again,but things took the wrong turn.Every story has some positives and the positive I can draw from this almost failure is that I worked hard on the concepts and it should benefit me in the long run.Now the future seems uncertain for a variety of reasons:
A).I failed in three consecutive exams,and the morale is really down.
B).I don't believe I can study harder than this.
C).A lot of expectations from myself sometimes pulls me down!
But I have to pick myself up and prepare for the examinations ahead.Right now,I have an exam this Sunday,and frankly I don't expect much from that too.Then I have a break of almost three months before there are any exams.I plan to sit in at least 5-7 university entrance exams this year.I think I'll manage to clear those exams as the syllabus and the level of questions is below the ones I prepared for.Yet it is the belief which is lacking.I have been losing my self belief for the past few days,due to the reasons already mentioned above.I was so indulged in study for the past two months,that I did not realise failure too was a possibility,but that is history now.
I plan to visit some outstation places now,as I don't have any burden of study as of now.The tuition I picked up last year,have been continuing but as the academic year ends I'll have few weeks free to relax and go out.These tuition too have played an important role in my life for the past year.The first and foremost being the money issue.I don't have any money problem as of now and probably this is the reason why I'm not worried that much as some other guys about my failure in the exam.Somewhere down below there is a belief that I'll be able to clear the exams coming ahead.The only work to be done is to have that self belief.Yes one failure doesn't decide the course of life and it is certainly not the end of the road.
My friends too have performed the same way as I have,apparently so.the truth remains to be seen.But as the result is declared on the 19th of march I'm almost certain it will be of no utility to me.Even though I clear the exam,if I don't get a seat in any institute,I'll consider it to be a failure.
The mind is confused as of now.I feel restless and wayward.I don't think I have felt this way in the past 2 years.As there has been an upward curve as far as my life is concerned and this is the first point of discontinuity in this duration.Of course,it was not expected.But,even though my mind is restless,even though I feel wayward,am I suffering?No,not at all.Had I failed to counter the depressions,had I plunged into hopelessness,or had I fallen down so low that I needed someone to pick me up,I could have been said to be suffering.But as far as I am concerned,I am countering the negative thoughts quite effectively.It is the recognition of negativity which is the most important part.
I have to pick myself up and prepare for the exams coming ahead.There are at least 7 of them.I did not perform as expected in one exam doesn't mean I can not perform as expected in the exams coming ahead.Life is built on struggles,now I realise that.So even in the state failure there is a story to tell..I still can get what I desire,in the coming days so I have to have a lot of self belief and confidence for the coming days and there will be success guaranteed.
Yes it feels bad when you fail after hard work.I can't help but feel frustrated now.I did what ever I could,I studied things over and over again,but things took the wrong turn.Every story has some positives and the positive I can draw from this almost failure is that I worked hard on the concepts and it should benefit me in the long run.Now the future seems uncertain for a variety of reasons:
A).I failed in three consecutive exams,and the morale is really down.
B).I don't believe I can study harder than this.
C).A lot of expectations from myself sometimes pulls me down!
But I have to pick myself up and prepare for the examinations ahead.Right now,I have an exam this Sunday,and frankly I don't expect much from that too.Then I have a break of almost three months before there are any exams.I plan to sit in at least 5-7 university entrance exams this year.I think I'll manage to clear those exams as the syllabus and the level of questions is below the ones I prepared for.Yet it is the belief which is lacking.I have been losing my self belief for the past few days,due to the reasons already mentioned above.I was so indulged in study for the past two months,that I did not realise failure too was a possibility,but that is history now.
I plan to visit some outstation places now,as I don't have any burden of study as of now.The tuition I picked up last year,have been continuing but as the academic year ends I'll have few weeks free to relax and go out.These tuition too have played an important role in my life for the past year.The first and foremost being the money issue.I don't have any money problem as of now and probably this is the reason why I'm not worried that much as some other guys about my failure in the exam.Somewhere down below there is a belief that I'll be able to clear the exams coming ahead.The only work to be done is to have that self belief.Yes one failure doesn't decide the course of life and it is certainly not the end of the road.
My friends too have performed the same way as I have,apparently so.the truth remains to be seen.But as the result is declared on the 19th of march I'm almost certain it will be of no utility to me.Even though I clear the exam,if I don't get a seat in any institute,I'll consider it to be a failure.
The mind is confused as of now.I feel restless and wayward.I don't think I have felt this way in the past 2 years.As there has been an upward curve as far as my life is concerned and this is the first point of discontinuity in this duration.Of course,it was not expected.But,even though my mind is restless,even though I feel wayward,am I suffering?No,not at all.Had I failed to counter the depressions,had I plunged into hopelessness,or had I fallen down so low that I needed someone to pick me up,I could have been said to be suffering.But as far as I am concerned,I am countering the negative thoughts quite effectively.It is the recognition of negativity which is the most important part.
I have to pick myself up and prepare for the exams coming ahead.There are at least 7 of them.I did not perform as expected in one exam doesn't mean I can not perform as expected in the exams coming ahead.Life is built on struggles,now I realise that.So even in the state failure there is a story to tell..I still can get what I desire,in the coming days so I have to have a lot of self belief and confidence for the coming days and there will be success guaranteed.
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