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JUST MOVING ON-28


There are a lot of moments when we lose control over ourselves and then the guilt which arises often sinks my mind.It has become although a seldom occuring phenomena with all the mindfulness training,but sometimes things get way off the hand.

I often feel like I'm a total failure.I have never really 'achieved' anything and almost always I ducked the responsibilities I was embarked upon.When I sit down and close my eyes in order to look bck I don't find anything significant to mention.Although I rejoice from the fact that I'm sort of immune to all the daily worries which everyone faces.Now I don't jump to conclusion too soon but the way I'm doing these days I'm behaving more like a LOSER than Vivek.

Why do I say this?Well,I did not perform when I needed to.I duck away from the responsibility I should have taken and moreover I feel useless.It is relative though but I need some good experiences in order to move forward.I am although a guy who is light on emotions and hence never cry but I really feel useless.And then whenever we are down there are different fears trying to pull you down so that you never get up.I am a student but still I doubt my capabilities in the field I'm engaged in.Loneliness haunts me and sometimes I instead of consoling myself indulge in self attack.I mean there are no friends for me just because I've never went upto anyone!Whatever.I don't want to thing that much in negativity.it will only spiral down to bottom.


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