Skip to main content

JUST MOVING ON-28


There are a lot of moments when we lose control over ourselves and then the guilt which arises often sinks my mind.It has become although a seldom occuring phenomena with all the mindfulness training,but sometimes things get way off the hand.

I often feel like I'm a total failure.I have never really 'achieved' anything and almost always I ducked the responsibilities I was embarked upon.When I sit down and close my eyes in order to look bck I don't find anything significant to mention.Although I rejoice from the fact that I'm sort of immune to all the daily worries which everyone faces.Now I don't jump to conclusion too soon but the way I'm doing these days I'm behaving more like a LOSER than Vivek.

Why do I say this?Well,I did not perform when I needed to.I duck away from the responsibility I should have taken and moreover I feel useless.It is relative though but I need some good experiences in order to move forward.I am although a guy who is light on emotions and hence never cry but I really feel useless.And then whenever we are down there are different fears trying to pull you down so that you never get up.I am a student but still I doubt my capabilities in the field I'm engaged in.Loneliness haunts me and sometimes I instead of consoling myself indulge in self attack.I mean there are no friends for me just because I've never went upto anyone!Whatever.I don't want to thing that much in negativity.it will only spiral down to bottom.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TRIP TO HARIDWAR AND RISHIKESH

A trip to places like Haridwar and Rishikesh is always a source of peace,joy and spirituality and when we went to these places this month, it was no different.We had some free time and I along with my two other friends decided to visit Haridwar as well as Rishikesh for a short 4 day trip.As I had spent my childhood in a nearby town,naturally these places were well travelled by me . Day-1:Bus to Haridwar We got up early in the morning,at around 0445,hurriedly got dressed up,called each other and ran off to the ISBT at kashmiri gate to catch an early bus to Haridwar.I was extremely careful to catch the bus as early as possible because of the traffic at the border growing up a few hours later.We expected to catch the bus at around 0700,but as it always happens,we were delayed by around 30 minutes and managed to board the bus as 0730.It was a smooth journey,early in the morning a lot of fresh air poured in,later as it was not too hot,we enjoyed riding the bus in the bri...
Post a Comment
Read more

NAGALAND: FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Not too many people have Nagaland in their bucket list. Uncomfortable roads, poor transport system and a lot of corruption are a few factors which contribute to it. Added to it the stories of still active insurgency, Nagaland although an extremely beautiful hill state doesn’t manage to have a lot of tourism going on except for the Hornbill festival in December every year. But, my case is slightly different. Affinity towards the culture of the entire North east, plus a desire to visit not to tourist frequented places made Nagaland a definite must go. So, when I got time and saved some money, I immediately planned a trip to the beautiful hilly state with my girlfriend. The Nagaland express Since, th is was my second trip towards the hills of the North east, I was more confident and familiar with the sytem than the previous time. We booked a filght to Guwahati and from there we took a train to Dimapur aptly named : The ”Nagaland Express”. This...
Post a Comment
Read more

POWER OF GOODNESS WITHIN

As children,we are a born innocent,carefree and of course we love unconditionally.As we grow up,in the society,we are taught that certain things are right ,while certain things are wrong and we begin shaping up our personalities accordingly.We are taught that certain values within us are agreeable while some are not.Some things we should develop some things we should not.Soon after we begin to see the good and bad of the world.We too realize everything is not that rosy in here,as we used to believe in childhood.The world does seem harsh on us at times and sometimes we feel like we have been hit hard. I want to focus on the personality that we develop all through this.As we grow older the only thing we carry forward are our personalities.I am a firm believer in reincarnation and I think the personalities are carried forward through different lifetimes.But I'll not talk about reincarnations here,let's get limited to this life itself.From childhood to death it is only ...
Post a Comment
Read more