Skip to main content

JUST MOVING ON-28


There are a lot of moments when we lose control over ourselves and then the guilt which arises often sinks my mind.It has become although a seldom occuring phenomena with all the mindfulness training,but sometimes things get way off the hand.

I often feel like I'm a total failure.I have never really 'achieved' anything and almost always I ducked the responsibilities I was embarked upon.When I sit down and close my eyes in order to look bck I don't find anything significant to mention.Although I rejoice from the fact that I'm sort of immune to all the daily worries which everyone faces.Now I don't jump to conclusion too soon but the way I'm doing these days I'm behaving more like a LOSER than Vivek.

Why do I say this?Well,I did not perform when I needed to.I duck away from the responsibility I should have taken and moreover I feel useless.It is relative though but I need some good experiences in order to move forward.I am although a guy who is light on emotions and hence never cry but I really feel useless.And then whenever we are down there are different fears trying to pull you down so that you never get up.I am a student but still I doubt my capabilities in the field I'm engaged in.Loneliness haunts me and sometimes I instead of consoling myself indulge in self attack.I mean there are no friends for me just because I've never went upto anyone!Whatever.I don't want to thing that much in negativity.it will only spiral down to bottom.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

NAGALAND: FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Not too many people have Nagaland in their bucket list. Uncomfortable roads, poor transport system and a lot of corruption are a few factors which contribute to it. Added to it the stories of still active insurgency, Nagaland although an extremely beautiful hill state doesn’t manage to have a lot of tourism going on except for the Hornbill festival in December every year. But, my case is slightly different. Affinity towards the culture of the entire North east, plus a desire to visit not to tourist frequented places made Nagaland a definite must go. So, when I got time and saved some money, I immediately planned a trip to the beautiful hilly state with my girlfriend. The Nagaland express Since, th is was my second trip towards the hills of the North east, I was more confident and familiar with the sytem than the previous time. We booked a filght to Guwahati and from there we took a train to Dimapur aptly named : The ”Nagaland Express”. This
Post a Comment
Read more

FIRST TRIP TO THE NORTH EAST-MIZORAM

Around 7 years ago during the final year of my school, I read a book about the various tribes of the north East India. Already fascinated by a place so serene, yet unexplored and heard stories of the people inhabiting those lands, the book generated in me a desire to visit the places as soon as possible. The author of that book visited the entire North East as a part of his assignment for All India Radio (AIR) during the 1970s and the way he described those tribes and the places, a strong desire arose inside of me to visit these places and see for myself how beautiful that land is, how well mannered those people are! It is aptly called the 'unexplored paradise' as I discovered. But the idea materialized only in March, when financially empowered by a scholarship from ISRO, and constantly motivated by my best friend (who could not resist travel, and hence accompanied me!), I planned to visit Mizoram. Why Mizoram? There is a particular thing about the mizos, and if asked com
Post a Comment
Read more

TRIP TO HARIDWAR AND RISHIKESH

A trip to places like Haridwar and Rishikesh is always a source of peace,joy and spirituality and when we went to these places this month, it was no different.We had some free time and I along with my two other friends decided to visit Haridwar as well as Rishikesh for a short 4 day trip.As I had spent my childhood in a nearby town,naturally these places were well travelled by me . Day-1:Bus to Haridwar We got up early in the morning,at around 0445,hurriedly got dressed up,called each other and ran off to the ISBT at kashmiri gate to catch an early bus to Haridwar.I was extremely careful to catch the bus as early as possible because of the traffic at the border growing up a few hours later.We expected to catch the bus at around 0700,but as it always happens,we were delayed by around 30 minutes and managed to board the bus as 0730.It was a smooth journey,early in the morning a lot of fresh air poured in,later as it was not too hot,we enjoyed riding the bus in the bri
Post a Comment
Read more