For
inspiration,I don't need a lot of external factors.I've developed an
inner mechanism which I successfully apply in my life.But then
how?Well,since we all are potential about to manifest,I don't feel
any reason for weakness within and for the outside world situations I
don't apply myself much where it doesn't require me to.The real
treasure hidden lies within and not without.Sooner we realize
it,better for us as we evade the repent related to it.Now,I'm
thinking of kind of developing some 'do-it' kind of instructions for
myself which which will duly benefit me.One I can test theory on
myself and the other being the test of my control over my
behavior.So here it is:
I
need a lot of self confidence and limit it by keeping over confidence
in check.Well,there are a lot of failures around so a sort of
insulation is needed if I've to avoid falling into negtivity.The
insulation is knowledge and appropriately placed humor which is
working fine.No one can advice me until I wish him to.Same goes with
inspiration.A few years back I'd proudly say that no one inspires me
when asked about the people I get inspired by.Only now I do realize
the benefit of following no one.Only then we can have a glimpse of
what is hidden within.
To
study is not an optional thing.There are a plenty of examples around
yelling it at me.So here too,I don't have a problem.I take a
passionate interest in my subject and ask others for it too,otherwise
what's the point of wasting time over it!Sometimes though I have this
feeling of nothingness as if I'm not doing what I'm supposed to do
and sometimes it goes to that extent that I start thinking of myself
as a lazy introvert.How to overcome it?
Well
all of it is a process and sadly nothing is firm enough to hold on
to.So do I need the belief in God?Probably not.Although we might find
ourselves stuck but the reality is all of it is a process,nothing
else.And yes it agrees with my principles as well where we deeply
emphasize on non permanence of everything,mind everything.So then
just enjoy the journey shouldn't we?Forget everything it won't exist
even if we try until we perish!Life seems to be light and easy going
for me at this instance and the only thing that worries me is a
slight consideration about the future.I have a lot of hope within me
and a lot of other confidence boosters as well but the belief that
they actually do work will only come,if I try myself out there.Until
then it is only hollow talk and nothing else.
Really,things
have been quite uncontrolled for quite some time now.I sometimes feel
like I have a lot of things to do in so little time and yet I'm
sitting over gazing at others.I've a lot of books to read and then
there is the syllabus which is no child's play.One thing is improving
though.I was always confuse what to do after here,but as time nears
things are getting clear.This is satisfying for me as I can now bank
on myself to take good decisions.I've not been much of a social
person so it is limited to a few behavior related aspects of myself,if I
have to form perceptions of me.
Hopefully,next
few weeks pass off as easily as always and I then,could move over and
do something afresh,as there has been a monotony for a few months
now.Although I don't think any change significant in nature can take
place until a few months from now.I'll be out of the college and then
I can think afresh,holding out the thoughts about the jam packed
future study schedule ahead.
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