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JUST MOVING ON-4

Buddha taught us a lot of things which if applied will not only help us in living a happy life but also help a great deal in finding the ultimate truth which we all are curious about.Recently as i was going through his teachings once again in order to find how much I was following him i stuck onto something which was definitely not being followed by me even slightly.Yes it is the path of right speech.I have successfully managed to learn renunciation of worldly desires,I’ve also controlled my sensual desires to a great extent and I’m mindful of not exactly  a lot of but some tasks that i perform.So overall i’m happy with my progress but when it comes to speaking i have failed to control it.It is not that i speak harshly and abusively as before but i speak uselessly a lot of times which is again pretty useless both in terms of energy consumption and mental exertion.
Well as Buddha said we have to abstain from these four kinds of speech:
False speech
Slanderous speech
Harsh speech
Idle chatter
And if we look closely at the roots of these actions they come out to be greed,hatred and delusion.If i reflect that onto my life,well the hatred part is eliminated automatically as i don’t know a person i do hate genuinely although i get a little irritated by a few.The power of loving kindness is now developing so fast that it does not allow aversion to pop up.The greed part is extremely difficult to eliminate from one’s life as it is directly linked with desires which is the basis for our actions at least in the present world.I mean we don’t need anything from anyone even then we have to keep a lot of desires such as a good job,good wife and a good home as it is considered necessary both in percept as well as generally.So desires are difficult if not impossible to drop and thus it arises greed but it can definitely be brought under control by contentment.So i don’t do slanderous or harsh speech anymore as i don’t feel the need to.
Lying is something very common.Yes i lie a lot but if one of my lies causes a suffering for any individual then things have to be relooked.I have contemplated it a lot of times and I’m in total agreement with the notion that if we lie once , we have to lie a 1000 times more in order to defend that lie and our credibility.So lying is something which should be prohibited.Sometimes it seems all right to lie but then consider the intentions.If it is meant for fun within the group and no one is harmed even slightly and everyone is taking it in the light mood then i don’t think it is a problem.Then there is lying and deliberately misleading the facts in order to gain fake respect which is definitely a wrong intention and hence we need to strictly avoid that kind of lying.Note that the person believes in you and considers the lies coming out of our mouth to be the truth so it is to be prohibited.Then i came across a deliberate kind of lying in order to praise someone else.They call it flattery.I mostly abstain from these kind of lies  but it is honestly very difficult to tell a ugly person that he is ugly.
Idle chatter is something which has disappointed me with myself.I am definitely not able to solve this problem.All seems Ok until i meet with someone and then start the chatter.I don’t know how to curb it as i don’t have a particular antidote as yet for it but hopefully soon i’ll find it.Yes idle chatter lacks purpose,depth,value and contributes in boosting our already huge ego as well.We think all of the communication is done through voice but the reality is that only 10% of actual conversation is talk.Rest all is body language,eyes etc.But honestly if we think over it as why we talk too much lets see around the world ourselves.Everyone is busy in useless chatter.Newspapers,magazines as well as news channels cash in on this useless chatter by so called experts.We are bound to follow them after all it is in our nature to follow others!But not if we break out of those bounds and see the reality ourselves.
So i usually abstain from talking.Whenever i’m in a public place or at a place where i don’t know a lot of persons i usually follow this principle: DON’T TALK UNTIL YOU ARE TALKED TO. and it definitely helps a lot as i can then oversee the conversation without being a part of it and a lot of times it is useless as always.So i don’t get into meaningless talks with unknown persons at all and eve if someone tries to involve me,i usually use a one-two liner and nothing else is needed.But the actual problem is i’m not able to follow this up with my friends and family.As soon as i find someone from my friends or family I’m out of control.But this definitely needs to be brought under control as it is harmful for me as well as others who seem happy when I’m talking but maybe cursing me when I’m gone.
So does it mean we need not talk at all?No.Buddha said speech should be reduced to matters of genuine importance ant that’s it.If you feel the need to talk and it is intentionally right go ahead and talk being mindful otherwise it’s worthless to talk.The mind is always looking for something sweet,spicy  to feed upon and useless chatter lets it accomplish it by providing unnecessary subjects.

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