For the past few days,I have not been feeling well.Although things are going in the right way,I think there are a lot of troubles I'm facing.The self control,I had developed a few months ago,has not been working in the right direction and it results in a lot of frustration.I have been reckless quite a lot of times,losing control of my mouth quite often.
Sometimes I don't know what I'm speaking and it is a dangerous sign indeed.People don't expect such behaviour from me.I don't know why,but some how I lose control and i realize it only after some time when the damage is done.I am not in the business of spoiling relationships by using bad words but still some of my words are painful indeed.Working on the principle of reciprocity,I can understand how I will feel if someone talks to me like that.The worst part is that I can't apologize for my mistakes and even if I do,it does not make a difference.The nail once pierced in the wood,leaves its mark even if you remove it suddenly!I have to be watchful all the time until it becomes a habit,so that I don't have to worry about the words coming out of my mouth.
Then it comes to some really bad habits which need to be controlled.One of them is my laziness.I get up from the bed late in the morning,which is different from what it was an year ago.I had developed a very good habit of getting up at 0630 in the morning an year ago,and followed it until a few months ago but now since I don't have any commitments in the morning,I'm back to lay ways.I need to improve that.For the past one month,I have developed this laziness,and it is bad habit indeed.This needs to be improved.I don't feel good about me and these habits contribute to that.As a person,I feel whatever negative traits I might have need to be eliminated,as it will be dangerous in the long run.I have suffered enough setbacks to make me realize that!
Now there is a month left,before I sit for the exam.I need to be studying at least 7-8 hours a day,and I'm not doing it.Lack of motivation,laziness and delusion can be said to be the reasons behind it.But whatever,if I don't study now I'm destined to fail and then I'll have no explanations.Failure is never a comfortable situation to be in,and I understand it.Thus,there is a need to study harder and harder until I succeed.I need motivation on a constant basis.I do have confidence but have to utilize it for success.For the past month I have developed some really negative,unwholesome habits which need to be discarded as soon as possible.The new year has arrived,and with it I hope to develop some good habits which will help in the long run.
An year ago,I had promised to leave all unwholesome attributes,and have been successful in eliminating a lot of them,but still there are a few bad habits which come up everytime.I feel like I have no control over myself,and then end up embarrassing myself over it.Yes the conquest of the self is the biggest victory we can achieve in our lives.Now I can feel why some people feel that way.I often feel everything is under control and the something happens otherwise and I end up feeling like a loser.We can't have control over ourselves so easily,I can realize that now.
After the exam is over,I plan to visit some outstation places.I think visiting uttrakhand will be a good opportunity for a spiritual experience and divine happiness.I will visit some really good holy places and hope to gain a lot of things from the visit,as so many other people do.I have some friends who might be interested in it too.But as of now,my prime focus in the entrance exam I'm planning to sit in.I really hope I do succeed in it as it will open a lot of doors for me and provide a sense of satisfaction as well.Otherwise it will feel like a waste of time,and again being a failure is not a good position to be in.
Today,since getting up I have failed to gain enough concentration to study for a few hours and as it stands,I have not studied properly for an hour!And this has been my story for the past few months now.I'm thinking something different.Today onwards I'll have a slightly different schedule so that I ensure success in the exam coming ahead.
Sometimes I don't know what I'm speaking and it is a dangerous sign indeed.People don't expect such behaviour from me.I don't know why,but some how I lose control and i realize it only after some time when the damage is done.I am not in the business of spoiling relationships by using bad words but still some of my words are painful indeed.Working on the principle of reciprocity,I can understand how I will feel if someone talks to me like that.The worst part is that I can't apologize for my mistakes and even if I do,it does not make a difference.The nail once pierced in the wood,leaves its mark even if you remove it suddenly!I have to be watchful all the time until it becomes a habit,so that I don't have to worry about the words coming out of my mouth.
Then it comes to some really bad habits which need to be controlled.One of them is my laziness.I get up from the bed late in the morning,which is different from what it was an year ago.I had developed a very good habit of getting up at 0630 in the morning an year ago,and followed it until a few months ago but now since I don't have any commitments in the morning,I'm back to lay ways.I need to improve that.For the past one month,I have developed this laziness,and it is bad habit indeed.This needs to be improved.I don't feel good about me and these habits contribute to that.As a person,I feel whatever negative traits I might have need to be eliminated,as it will be dangerous in the long run.I have suffered enough setbacks to make me realize that!
Now there is a month left,before I sit for the exam.I need to be studying at least 7-8 hours a day,and I'm not doing it.Lack of motivation,laziness and delusion can be said to be the reasons behind it.But whatever,if I don't study now I'm destined to fail and then I'll have no explanations.Failure is never a comfortable situation to be in,and I understand it.Thus,there is a need to study harder and harder until I succeed.I need motivation on a constant basis.I do have confidence but have to utilize it for success.For the past month I have developed some really negative,unwholesome habits which need to be discarded as soon as possible.The new year has arrived,and with it I hope to develop some good habits which will help in the long run.
An year ago,I had promised to leave all unwholesome attributes,and have been successful in eliminating a lot of them,but still there are a few bad habits which come up everytime.I feel like I have no control over myself,and then end up embarrassing myself over it.Yes the conquest of the self is the biggest victory we can achieve in our lives.Now I can feel why some people feel that way.I often feel everything is under control and the something happens otherwise and I end up feeling like a loser.We can't have control over ourselves so easily,I can realize that now.
After the exam is over,I plan to visit some outstation places.I think visiting uttrakhand will be a good opportunity for a spiritual experience and divine happiness.I will visit some really good holy places and hope to gain a lot of things from the visit,as so many other people do.I have some friends who might be interested in it too.But as of now,my prime focus in the entrance exam I'm planning to sit in.I really hope I do succeed in it as it will open a lot of doors for me and provide a sense of satisfaction as well.Otherwise it will feel like a waste of time,and again being a failure is not a good position to be in.
Today,since getting up I have failed to gain enough concentration to study for a few hours and as it stands,I have not studied properly for an hour!And this has been my story for the past few months now.I'm thinking something different.Today onwards I'll have a slightly different schedule so that I ensure success in the exam coming ahead.
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