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JUST MOVING ON-1

Throughout the life we are always thinking whether our earlier decisions were right or not.i'm no different.When i passed class 12th i immediately decided to choose physics as my bachelor's honors subject.Well two years from that and now i am feeling a little burden although it's negligible considering my brain's abilities.Seriously i'm not bragging its just the confidence.
But today as i think whether it ws right or wrong,i think it was not a wrong decision at all.I strongly support it.But there is only single problem.Two years back from now i was dreaming of becoming a nuclear scientist yes the people who sport white aprons at the nuclear facilities!But now i find myself nowhere close to that.Physics is something i love studying but the way my life is going right now it is difficult for me to concentrate on physics.And off late i've started to find problems with my concentration.One thing is pretty sure if i can't study physics i can't study anything else.This is pretty sure.Physics is the easiest subject for me.The way we derive relations,the way we prove something it's just fascinating.
I find myself in sync with physics.So whenever i feel i'm out of sync,i feel dejected and today it is one of those days.
But that does not mean i should question my decisions.I make perfect decisions for myself,period.So should i pursue higher studies in physics?Well i am not thinking about that now.My first goal is to pass out of college and get a bachelor's degree.But according to current scenario,the best thing according to me is to drop a year or two after that and prepare for something big.These days i have been thinking in that direction.And the money issue i think i should take up a part time job or tuitions so that i don't live in isolation.
Another thing that is worrying me is my location.Honestly i've fed up with new delhi.Yes hard to admit but i definitely want to leave you delhi for some days(maybe i can realize the value then!).But after graduation i'm seriously thinking of leaving delhi.Maybe for a year or two.And take up some job in a small city.Yes it will be tough.Living a luxurious life in delhi and living in a small room in a small city!but i should do it.At least for a change!
And i hear a lot from my people about having no fixed future plans.Its because for me future planning is futile.You don't know whether you'll be alive tomorrow and you are planning about 10 years from now!stupid thinking.Though my parents and friends take a shot at me every time they get a chance because of this attitude but this is the way i am.People don't admit at my face but they realize later.Coming to my life I don't have a vision about 10 years from now.I may be in a one room flat,or in a slum,i may be in a bunglow or i even may be dead!Who cares?God has given me this life to live in the present and i'm living it pleasantly.A lot of people of my age own a lot of things.I own the most important thing-happiness and i really don't want anything more than this.After all i'm here to play around for a 100 years and that's it.The big question is that whether i'll be able to achieve that.Because in my death bed i want to feel calmness and satisfaction and i'll make every effort to ensure that.We often talk of ultimate pleasure and dying peacefully with a happy mind is something which is ultimate pleasure for me.This is what i've learnt until now.Life is way too beautiful to waste and slowly but steadily i've started to value it more..




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